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Deadlock persists over Nawaz’s departure as govt demands Rs7bn indemnity bond

by Staff Report , (Last Updated 10 mins ago)

–Law minister says govt has decided to allow ‘one-time’ permission to former PM to go abroad for four weeks –PML-N says making Nawaz’s departure conditional is ‘unconstitutional’ ISLAMABAD: A deadlock persists between…

ECP completes arrangements for 2018 by-elections

by APP , (Last Updated October 8, 2018)

ISLAMABAD: Election Commission of Pakistan (ECP) has completed all necessary arrangements for holding of bye-elections in 36 constituencies on October 14. According to an ECP official, the elections will be held for…

Columns

Wisdom and folly

by Askari Raza Malik , (Last Updated 23 hours ago)

The march is against accountability Hazrat Ali (RA) said, “The richest person is he who has knowledge and wisdom, and the poorest is the ignorant who does not even know that people…

Editorials

Delay can be harmful

by Editorial , (Last Updated 23 hours ago)

Former PM needs urgent treatment abroad Last month, acknowledging the medical condition of former PM Nawaz Sharif, Prime Minister Imran Khan said his sincere prayers were with the ailing politician. Later statements…

Cartoons

Today’s Cartoon

by Syed Shahzeb Ali , (Last Updated November 6, 2019)

Foreign

Chaos in Hong Kong as pro-democracy protests ‘blossom everywhere’

by Agencies , (Last Updated 19 mins ago)

CENTRAL: Pro-democracy protesters Wednesday stepped up a “blossom everywhere” campaign of road blocks and vandalism across Hong Kong that has crippled the international financial hub this week and ignited some of the…

Featured

Rest in Peace, Bloom Bardolator Brontosaurus

by Abdullah Niazi , (Last Updated October 19, 2019)

In the summer of 2018, a friend who was until then still majoring in English literature alongside me at the Lahore University of Management Sciences wrote to Professor Harold Bloom asking for…

Sports

Premier League sharpshooters in Africa as CAN qualifying begins

by Agencies , (Last Updated 23 hours ago)

LONDON: English Premier League sharpshooters Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, Sadio Mane and Mohamed Salah flew to Africa this week, seeking goals as 2021 Cup of Nations (CAN) qualifying kicks off. New Arsenal captain Aubameyang…

Lahore

Cleric arrested for molesting, filming children

by Staff Report , (Last Updated 45 mins ago)

GUJRANWALA: Police on Wednesday arrested a person who was accused of molesting children and filming the acts. According to police officials, the accused person is a cleric in Dillawer Cheema, adding that…

Karachi

Azadi March: Karachi police on alert ahead of JUI-F’s ‘indefinite’ sit-in

by Staff Report , (Last Updated 2 hours ago)

KARACHI: Deputy Inspector General (South Zone), Karachi, Sharjil Kharal, has written a letter to the senior superintendents of police (SSP) for the city and south districts of the metropolis alerting them of Jamiat…

Islamabad

Govt includes corruption-accused in new CDA board

by Staff Report , (Last Updated 29 mins ago)

ISLAMABAD: The Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) government has approved the inclusion of former Capital Development Authority (CDA) chairman Kamran Lashari in the new 10-member board constituted to manage the affairs of the civic…

Bangladesh plans war museum modelled on Karachi museum with 90,000 mannequins

November 13, 2019 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Impressed by the recently upgraded PAF museum in Karachi, which has a mannequin of Indian Airforce Wing Commander Abhinandan Varthaman, the Government of Bangaldesh is to upgrade its Muktijuddho Jadughôr, or the Liberation War Museum, in Dhaka with an additional 90,000 mannequins. “I like the direction that our Pakistani brothers have taken,” said Assaduzzaman Noor, member of the Board of Trustees over at the museum. “And that is why I gave my reco .....
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PBS removes tomatoes from basket-of-goods to fight inflation

November 12, 2019 BY The Dependent

The Pakistan Bureau of Statistics has decided to remove tomatoes from the Basket of Goods that it uses to calculate inflation in an attempt to fight inflation. “Look, we need to bring inflation down, specially since the prime minister has announced that he is concerned about inflation,” said Dr Shoaib Hassan, Principal Statistical Officer at the PBS. “And our economist friends, whose performance we evaluate, have asked us that they will now evaluate our performance.” “So the best thing to do in the current circumstances is to ju .....
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Kartarpur, DHA Phases 8,9,10 also sacred Hindu sites: RSS

November 12, 2019 BY The Dependent

Hot on the heels of the decision by the Indian Supreme Court to rule in favour of the Hindu appellants in the Babri Masjid case, the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) has claimed that Kartarpura and Defence Housing Authority Lahore, Phases 8 to 10 are also sacred Hindu sites whose control they would like to be handed over. “One thing we want to be made clear: we do not want these sites to be given to a trust run by Pakistani Hindus, who have made no such demand,” said RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat, in an exclusive interview with the Dependent. .....
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‘I can uproot hand-pump with pinkie finger’, intimidating Buzdar whispers in Sunny Deol’s ear

November 11, 2019 BY The Dependent

KARTARPUR – Issuing a timely and stern reminder on who was the real macho man in a gathering otherwise designed to promote peace in the region, Punjab Chief Minister Usman Buzdar whispered in the ear of Indian Punjab Member of Parliament Sunny Deol during the inauguration of the Kartarpur Corridor on Saturday that he has the ability to uproot hand-pumps with the smallest finger of his left hand, known otherwise as the pinkie. “And this is when I’m in a romantic, chocolate hero mode. Action hero Buzdar can just look at well-established .....
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Didn’t know of the 2014 dharna, found out through TV, Imran claims

November 11, 2019 BY The Dependent

Responding to widespread criticism of his opposition to the ongoing JUI-F dharna given how he himself staged a dharna back in 2014, Prime Minister Imran Khan claimed on Friday that he was not even aware of the PTI dharna back then. “I had absolutely no idea that it was going on,” he stated emphatically, while speaking to reporters. “I only found out that the PTI was staging a dharna through television, just like I didn’t know of the decision to devalue the Pakistani Rupee through TV.” “I am not to be blamed for this. There are .....
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‘Not performing because of incompetent team including Akram plus and Miandad plus,’ says captain

November 10, 2019 BY The Dependent

ISLAMABAD – Pakistan’s captain has criticised his team for continued failures saying that he does not have the personnel required to do well. In an exclusive interview with The Dependent, the captain repeated the claim that Pakistan would be doing much better if he had a better team. “I know in the past I’ve talked up the impact a great leader can have. And while I am a great leader, I have to say that a leader alone cannot help with the overall performance – he needs a strong team as well,” the captain said. The captain expre .....
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Marshall of ‘Marshall Law’ also Jemima’s cousin, reveals Mufti Kifayatullah

November 10, 2019 BY The Dependent

ISLAMABAD – Clearly in possession of classified family trees released by a yet to be identified whistleblower, Jamiat Ulema-e-Islam’s (JUI-F) central leader Mufti Kifayatullah has further revealed Jemima Goldsmith’s familial connections to turmoil in Pakistan, and by correlation the world. After providing conclusive evidence on a TV show that Wiki of WikiLeaks is a cousin of the ex-wife of Prime Minister Imran Khan, Kifayatullah has now told The Dependent in an exclusive interview that ‘Marshall of Marshall Law’ is also Jemima Gold .....
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‘If you found Dharna Green sexy, wait till you see my PM Resignation Day outfit,’ Shehbaz tells paparazzi

November 10, 2019 BY The Dependent

LAHORE – Making final preparations to depart for London, Opposition Leader and President of the Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) Shehbaz Sharif told the paparazzi on Thursday that if they found his green outfit for the dharna led by the Jamiat Ulema-e-Islam Fazl (JUI-F) Chief Fazlur Rehman sexy, then they should wait for what he has planned to wear on the day Prime Minister Imran Khan finally resigns. Coming out of his Jati Umra residence briefly, where hordes of fashion and showbiz journalists gathered along with the fans of the style .....
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Anti-Khalistan Cell also formed alongside Khalistan Cell after learning Lahore also part of Khalistan

November 9, 2019 BY The Dependent

The national security agencies have formed an Anti-Khalistan Cell in addition to their earlier established Khalistan Cell after they gained information from Wikipedia that the geographical boundaries of the Khalistan state also included areas within Pakistan. “This is a cause of concern,” said a senior intelligence official, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “Some are stopping at Lahore whereas others are even talking about Hassanabdal. One city is where I went to cadet college to and the other is a city where I have been given .....
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Nation urged to stop condemning dharna performed by Indian agent as per his role in script

November 9, 2019 BY The Dependent

RAWALPINDI – The funded project which has seen a sit-in inside the capital has been in the headlines ever since its trailer got released. After facing much criticism, the protest rally finally received much needed support this week, when the nation was told not to condemn it. In a message released on Twitter, the nation was informed that it should learn to think and in turn understand the context of the dharna. The dharna is neither being held where it really should be and is not an event organised by the organisers, the nation was info .....
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Mandir waheen banega, says group of Indian uncles

November 9, 2019 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) A group of Indian WhatsApp Uncles have said that “Mandir Waheen Banega,” about the disputed site of the Babri Mosque, which was vandalised in 1992. “We have all the archaeological evidence,” said Ranjan Gogoi, the de facto leader of the group. “The Archeological Society of India, where my nephew Rohit’s friend Sunil works, said that there is evidence that the Mosque was built in the 1600s but older, absolutely scientific evidence of .....
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Bhutto family emotional watching little Bilawal grow old enough to ally with religious bigots on his own

November 9, 2019 BY The Dependent

LARKANA – The aunts, uncles, cousins among selected members of the immediate, adopted and extended Bhutto family, who participated in this week’s family conference call on Sunday, all teared up watching the fast growing up Bilawal Bhutto. While the usual family issues were discussed in what is a weekly ‘Bhutto family conference call’, the elders agreed that watching Bilawal growing old enough to ally with religious bigots was an incredibly emotional and heartfelt experience. “Look at our little Bilawal, all grown up and forming .....
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