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Nation celebrates Eid Miladun Nabi

by Agencies , (Last Updated 31 mins ago)

ISLAMABAD: Muslims living across the country are celebrating Eid Miladun Nabi today on the 12th of Rabi ul Awal with religious fervour and enthusiasm while the government has finalised security arrangements for all…

ECP completes arrangements for 2018 by-elections

by APP , (Last Updated October 8, 2018)

ISLAMABAD: Election Commission of Pakistan (ECP) has completed all necessary arrangements for holding of bye-elections in 36 constituencies on October 14. According to an ECP official, the elections will be held for…

Columns

U-turn-cum-reconcilliation

by Umair Sohail , (Last Updated 4 hours ago)

It is not easy escape the black hole of power Prominent global leaders, who are praised for their vision and brought into power for their impulsive nationalist aggression, seldom get good advice…

Editorials

Talks with IMF

by Editorial , (Last Updated 4 hours ago)

No space for complacency The IMF package alone will not reduce Pakistan’s economic woes. With China and the UAE having made no open commitment of a hefty financial package, the crunch would…

Cartoons

Today’s Cartoon

by Syed Shahzeb Ali , (Last Updated 4 hours ago)

Business

Pakistan, China ink Karachi-Peshawar railway line agreement

November 20, 2018

LAHORE: Pakistan Railways (PR) and the National Railway Administration (NRA) of China on Tuesday signed an agreement pertaining to the ML-1 [Main Line-1] project at the PR Headquarters here. PR Chief Executive Officer (CEO) Aftab Akbar and NRA Deputy Administrator An...

Foreign

Monica Lewinsky’s Parents Discuss Her Affair With Bill Clinton In Rare Interview

by Agencies , (Last Updated 53 mins ago)

Monica Lewinsky’s parents, Bernard Lewinsky and Marcia Lewis, gave a rare interview about their daughter’s affair with former President Bill Clinton for A&E’s new docuseries about the scandal. “She said Monica was…

Featured

PM May says getting rid of her risks delaying Brexit

by Agencies , (Last Updated November 19, 2018)

LONDON: British Prime Minister Theresa May said on Sunday toppling her would risk delaying Brexit and she would not let talk of a leadership challenge distract her from a critical week of negotiations…

Sports

Champions League final could disrupt England’s preparations

by Agencies , (Last Updated 3 hours ago)

LONDON: England are in contention to win their first major international trophy since the 1966 World Cup next summer – but could their Nations League hopes be hampered by the Champions League final?…

Lahore

LHC disposes of Hamza Shehbaz’s pre-arrest bail petitions

by APP , (Last Updated 2 hours ago)

LAHORE: A Lahore High Court (LHC) division bench on Tuesday disposed of the pre-arrest bail petitions filed by Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) leader Hamza Shehbaz. As per the details, a division bench,…

Karachi

CM urges mayor to consult experts for Empress Market’s restoration

by PPI , (Last Updated 5 hours ago)

KARACHI: Sindh Chief Minister Syed Murad Ali Shah on Tuesday urged Karachi Mayor Waseem Akhtar to consult heritage experts for the restoration of the historical Empress Market so that its original beauty…

Islamabad

ATC declares anchor Shanzay Rehman proclaimed offender

by APP , (Last Updated 4 hours ago)

ISLAMABAD: An Anti-Terrorism Court (ATC) here Tuesday, resuming the hearing of the case pertaining to defamatory remarks against the Chief Justice of Pakistan (CJP) by Pakistan Peoples’ Party’s (PPP) former senator Faisal…

Arts / Entertainment

Imran asks US to assess why Taliban strong 72 hours before asking US not to assess why Taliban strong

November 20, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) “The US should do a serious assessment of why, despite 140,000 Nato troops plus 250,000 Afghan troops and reportedly $ 1 trillion spent on war in Afghanistan, the Taliban today are stronger than before,” said Prime Minister Imran Khan in a tweet that was a response to a set of incendiary tweets by the US President Donald Trump from the same day. Prime Minister Khan’s strong-worded tweet was made roughly 72 hours before asking the US not to assess wh .....
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Inspirational Pakistan take last minute U-turn on beating New Zealand

November 19, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) ABU DHABI – Building on the national ethos established by Prime Minister Imran Khan, Pakistan cricket team on Monday took an inspirational last minute U-turn on beating New Zealand in the final moments of the first Test match at Abu Dhabi. Pakistan reached their objective of not winning the match against New Zealand by taking U-turns on logic, sensibility, basic technique, to eventually not win the match by four runs – the smallest ever margin of not .....
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Gondal transferred again in tough response to Trump’s statement

November 19, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Tensions have flared up again in Pak-US relations as Pakistan has again transferred former DPO Pakpattan Rizwan Omer Gondal from his posting in a tit-for-tat response to President Donald Trump’s claim that Pakistan hasn’t “done a damn thing” for America. “The decision is final and we will not budge from our position,” said Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi, while speaking to reporters at a Foreign Office press conference. “This is a new .....
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Man proves Riemann Hypothesis in all the time he saves by typing “k” instead of “ok”

November 18, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) They say time management is the key to a more productive life. Well, as Islamabad’s Ahmed Jawad has shown, it could also be the key to furthering science. In utilising all the time he meticulously saved by typing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’ in his text interactions, Jawad has solved the 159-year-old math problem of the Riemann Hypothesis. “Yes, it is a problem that had baffled the world’s best minds but this young man, using all the time that he .....
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Malfunctioning Cynthia Ritchie unit replaced by new Cynthia Ritchie unit

November 16, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) A CRZ-3001 unit was replaced on Friday after it started malfunctioning. The CRZ-3001, better known by its market name Cynthia Ritchie, was replaced by the Corporation technicians immediately after an alert was issued by its Monitoring Officers. “Yeah, the unit (serial #212) was acting up, so we had to change it,” said Khalid Hassan, chief technician, Zone 7(b). “We tried to fix it but it was taking too much time, so we just replaced it wit .....
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Man turns up car radio volume to drown out strange noise coming from engine

November 14, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Hoping against hope that it would somehow fix itself, local man Shahzain Ahmad turned up the volume of his car radio to drown out the strange noises coming from his car's engine. Sending out a prayer to any and all deities above, the are man convinced himself that he really really wanted to listen to the program running on the Lahore Chamber of Commerce and Industry's radio channel. Even as the car struggled and protested, the dial on the radio kept .....
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After reflecting on Kashmir statement, have decided to take back retirement: Afridi

November 15, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Saying he is deeply sorry about his statements regarding Kashmir, former Pakistan test cricket captain Shahid Afridi has decided to take back his retirement. “I think given the situation it is the right thing to do, it was an irresponsible thing to say perhaps and has hurt the sentiments of people on both sides of the border. The only thing I can do now apologise. Apologise and take back my retirement, that too” he said speaking to an emergency press .....
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Sheikh Rasheed roped in as brand ambassador for sixth PSL franchise ‘Pindi Boyz’

November 15, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) LAHORE – There has been an overwhelming response in terms of name suggestions for the sixth franchise of the Pakistan Super League (PSL) after the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) terminated the annual contract of Multan Sultans. Last week, when the owners of Multan Sultans failed to fulfil their annual financial obligation, the board reverted back all rights of the franchise to itself. “The fourth edition of PSL will go ahead as planned with six teams an .....
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‘Contempt of court safer than contempt of…’ Daniyal Aziz says as he withdraws plea against disqualification

November 15, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) ISLAMABAD – Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) leader Daniyal Aziz said contempt of court was safer than contempt of, as he broke off mid-sentence while explaining his decision to withdraw his please against being disqualified from holding public office by the Supreme Court of Pakistan after having been found in contempt of court. Talking exclusively to The Dependent, Aziz said he deserves to be disqualified. “I am disqualified, anyone who says t .....
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MQM-Pakistan revokes Farooq Sattar’s gym membership

November 15, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) KARACHI – The Muttahida Qaumi Movement-Pakistan (MQM-P) has decided to revoke the basic gym membership of party’s senior leader Farooq Sattar, The Dependent has learnt. The decision was made at an emergency meeting chaired by convener MQM-P and federal minister Dr Khalid Maqbool Siddiqui at the party’s headquarters in Bahadurabad, Karachi. MQM-P sources privy to the development said the Rabita (coordination) committee has decided to revoke Sattar .....
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‘Saudi bailout one time thing, didn’t mean anything,’ Pakistan reassures IMF

November 15, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) ISLAMABAD – Pakistan on Tuesday reassured the International Monetary Fund (IMF) that the $6 billion that it got from Saudi Arabia was a ‘one-time thing’ and that it ‘did not mean anything’. Sources confirmed that Pakistan vowed to undertake a full-fledged effort for maximum recovery of their damaged relationship, which Pakistan took complete responsibility for, and confessed it was willing to do anything to fix it. “I was thinking of you al .....
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Won’t talk about missing govt officials because I am a sensitive matter, says Afridi

November 14, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) The federal minister of state of interior Shehryar Afridi said that he would not like to discuss the issue of missing government officials because he is an extremely sensitive matter. “I would not like to discuss this issue and issues like these because I am extremely sensitive,” he said, while speaking at a press conference. “Everyone who actually knows me predicts that I will start crying if I’m slapped around a bit.” “It is a prediction .....
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