Pakistan Today

National

IHC to announce verdict in Zulfi Bukhari’s petition to remove name from ECL

by Staff Report , (Last Updated 16 mins ago)

ISLAMABAD: The Islamabad High Court (IHC) is set to announce its decision today on removing Prime Minister’s Special Assistant on Overseas Pakistanis Zulfi Bukhari’s name from Exit Control List (ECL). Bukhari had previously filed…

ECP completes arrangements for 2018 by-elections

by APP , (Last Updated October 8, 2018)

ISLAMABAD: Election Commission of Pakistan (ECP) has completed all necessary arrangements for holding of bye-elections in 36 constituencies on October 14. According to an ECP official, the elections will be held for…

Columns

Campaign to malign CPEC

by Malik Muhammad Ashraf , (Last Updated 16 hours ago)

Unfair comparisons While the projects under CPEC are on the roll and both Pakistan and China continue to evince unswerving interest and commitment to see them through, some detractors of this mega-economic…

Editorials

Laying foundations of ‘Naya Pakistan’

by Editorial , (Last Updated 16 hours ago)

Complacency and political exigency harm performance Earlier this month Imran Khan had hinted at getting rid of the incompetent members in his cabinet and a possible reshuffle in portfolios. After a record…

Cartoons

Today’s Cartoon

by Syed Shahzeb Ali , (Last Updated 16 hours ago)

Business

Systems Ltd granted Rs240m LRMIS contract in Balochistan

December 12, 2018

LAHORE: A syndicate led by Systems Limited has been granted the Land Revenue Management Information Contract (LRMIS) worth Rs240 million by Balochistan’s Board of Revenue. In a notification sent to the Pakistan Stock Exchange (PSX) on Wednesday, Systems Limited announced...

Foreign

India names Modi ally as new central bank chief

by Agencies , (Last Updated 27 mins ago)

MUMBAI: India’s government named an ally of Prime Minister Narendra Modi as the country’s new central bank chief on Tuesday, a day after his predecessor quit following a dispute about government’s interference.…

Featured

China court bans iPhone sales in patent dispute

by Agencies , (Last Updated 2 days ago)

WASHINGTON: A Chinese court ordered a ban in the country on iPhone sales in a patent dispute between US chipmaker Qualcomm and Apple, according to a Qualcomm statement Monday. The statement said the…

Sports

Sana Mir’s ‘fantastic’ leg-break delivery voted Play of Women T20 WC

by Web Desk , (Last Updated 23 mins ago)

Pakistan all-rounder Sana Mir’s ‘fantastic’ leg-break delivery has been voted as ‘Play of the Tournament’ for Women T20 World Cup by International Cricket Council (ICC). The delivery by former captain pitched outside…

Lahore

Punjab govt introduces drip irrigation with 60pc subsidy

by Staff Report , (Last Updated 14 hours ago)

KASUR: To overcome the problem of water shortage in the agriculture field, the Punjab government has introduced drip irrigation system and is providing 60 per cent subsidy to the farmers. These views…

Karachi

Transporters’ strike to gas supply withdrawal in Karachi paralyses commuters

by Staff Report , (Last Updated 28 mins ago)

KARACHI: Following Sindh Southern Gas Company’s (SSGC) announcement of stopping gas supply to CNG stations, the transporters went on a strike on Wednesday, paralysing public transport users. On Tuesday, SSGC had announced that…

Islamabad

Motorcyclists can’t get fuel sans wearing helmets: ICT administration

by Bilal Sabri , (Last Updated 13 hours ago)

ISLAMABAD: The Islamabad Capital Territory (ICT) Administration on Tuesday barred all petrol pumps from providing fuel to motorcyclists not wearing helmets. Following similar orders of the Rawalpindi administration on the same issue,…

Knocked out Pakistan hockey team says distracted by lack of protests against them in India

December 11, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) After being eliminated from the ongoing Hockey World Cup, the Pakistan hockey team confessed to being distracted by the sheer lack of controversy and protests against them. Speaking to The Dependent after the 5-0 defeat against Belgium in the crossover, Pakistan team manager and legend Hassan Sardar said his side’s poor performance was owing to discriminatory behaviour against them. “The treatment meted out to the hockey side was in complete contra .....
[ read more ]

‘Just something in my eye’ says Hamza Abbasi wiping away tears after Murad Saeed made Federal Minister

December 11, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Wiping away from his eyes what were clearly tears but what he claimed was ‘just some speck I got stuck in my eye,’ actor Hamza Ali Abbasi has said he is fine, and doing perfectly okay after PTI MNA Murad Saeed was tapped for a promotion to full Federal Minister. According to details, Prime Minister Imran Khan during his review of his cabinet expressed satisfaction with the performance of Murad Saeed, who is the Minister of State for Communication, an .....
[ read more ]

Exemplary PM Khan gets A++ in PM Khan’s ministers’ performance review

December 11, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) ISLAMABAD – Continuing to depict an embodiment of selfless impartiality and neutrality, Prime Minister Imran Khan on Monday gave Prime Minister Imran Khan an A++ in the ministers’ performance review in the special cabinet meeting called to carry out accountability of ministers. The cabinet session which started at the PM House at 10:30am and continued till 9pm was designed to inform the various ministers about their shortcomings and adjudicate their p .....
[ read more ]

‘Position offer referred strictly to position in govt’, fretting Fawad Chaudhry texts Sheikh Rasheed

December 10, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) ISLAMABAD – Worried that his messages over the weekend might have given the wrong signal, Information Minister Fawad Chaudhry told Railways Minister Sheikh Rashid early Monday morning that his offer to vacate position was in reference to his position in the incumbent government. “I was talking about the cabinet position,” a text send to Rashid at 6:02 am on Monday, December 10 said. “Oh sh*t, the government position, I strictly mean the government .....
[ read more ]

Just btw, Dentists still not real Doctors, nation’s real Doctors reaffirm

December 9, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Real Doctors that have actually done their MBBS from all over the nation have once again categorically make it clear that Dentists are in not in any way, shape or form real doctors. “I know we said this a couple of months ago as well, but we just felt like it was about time to give a follow up reminder. Just in case somebody had forgotten you know” they said. According to details, real doctors from across the country had been feeling increasingly .....
[ read more ]

Shall be going for a simple, three day wedding next time, says Muneeb Butt after criticism

December 7, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Saying that while the entire never ending wedding thing was fun and all, actor Muneeb Butt expressed that he would much rather have a simple three day wedding when next it is time for him to mount the proverbial horse. “I am a simple man. Simplicity is what I preach. And while it was pretty cool, the next time I get married I’m going to stick with a nice, and easy three day function” he said to media persons after walking out of his waleema, the fi .....
[ read more ]

Markets stabilise after Asad Umer announces once again that he used to draw Rs 5.4 million salary

December 7, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Both the country’s currency and financial capital markets stabilised after Finance Minister Asad Umer reminded the nation through a televised message that he used to draw Rs 5.4 million salary at Engro. “The money markets were in a tumble amidst rumours of the IMF wanting even more devaluation and that there seemed to be absolutely no coordination between the central bank and the finance ministry,” said Sadiq Khanani, a leading currency exchanger. .....
[ read more ]

Metal grill to also be installed around Punjab CM

December 6, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Hot on the heels of the announcement of the demolition of the bordering wall around the Punjab Governor’s mansion and installation of a metal grill around it, the prime minister has also ordered for a metal grill to be installed around the Punjab chief minister. “Yes, well, though many would feel there is no need to do so,” said party central spokesperson and advisor to the PM on political affairs Naeem-ul-Haq, “But given the tough dance that we a .....
[ read more ]

‘If we can follow preapproved scripts why can’t you,’ govt asks Alhamra performers

December 6, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) LAHORE – After Punjab Information and Culture Minister Fayyazul Hassan Chohan on Tuesday dissolved the governing body of the Alhamra Arts Council in Lahore and mandated production companies to seek a prior approval of their play scripts by the government, another notice was issued to playwrights and performers explaining the decision. In the follow-up notice, signed by the federal and all provincial governments, sent across the country, artists, produce .....
[ read more ]

PPP sticking to same ‘wait and watch’ policy it had adopted when in govt, reveals Khurshid Shah

December 6, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) SUKKUR – Former opposition leader in the National Assembly and Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) leader Syed Khurshid Shah Monday said the opposition party was sticking to the same “wait and watch” policy that it had adopted when it was in federal government. “The incumbent government’s economic policies are highly flawed and lack vision. An inflation bomb has already been dropped on the people as the prices of petroleum, gas and electricity have .....
[ read more ]

Trump requests Pakistan to provide him safe haven from Mueller investigation

December 6, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) WASHINGTON/ISLAMABAD – US President Donald Trump sent a letter to Prime Minister Imran Khan requesting him to help him find a safe haven from Mueller investigation in Pakistan just weeks after the two engaged in a Twitter spat. The letter, a copy of which is available with The Dependent, requests Khan's "full support for the effort to advance the peace process”, which is only possible if he could find the US President a “safe haven in one of those g .....
[ read more ]

‘Unfair to expect me to remember all times I’ve abused authority’, innocent Nawaz tells SC

December 6, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) ISLAMABAD – Exhibiting trademark innocence and absolute clueless as to what was being said and done, despite claiming to know fully well why it was happening, former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif told the Supreme Court on Tuesday that it was unfair of the judges to expect him to remember all the time he has abused authority. The Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz supremo said this during a hearing as he faces charges against him of the 1986 illegal allotment of .....
[ read more ]

Top

Headlines