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National

Fakhar-e-Alam’s family pays him a surprise visit in Cairo

by PakistanToday , (Last Updated 3 hours ago)

Award-winning actor and singer-songwriter Fakhr-e-Alam’s who is on a 28-day journey across the globe dedicated to the people of Pakistan received a surprise visit from his family in Cairo, Egypt. On October…

ECP completes arrangements for 2018 by-elections

by APP , (Last Updated October 8, 2018)

ISLAMABAD: Election Commission of Pakistan (ECP) has completed all necessary arrangements for holding of bye-elections in 36 constituencies on October 14. According to an ECP official, the elections will be held for…

Columns

Punjab just won’t let go of PML-N

by Zaki Abbas , (Last Updated 6 hours ago)

What took wind out of PTI’s sails? PML-N’s surprising performance in the by-polls has put all the rumours to rest — Punjab remains the bastion. For detractors, PML-N is alive and thriving;…

Editorials

A dog in the manger policy

by Editorial , (Last Updated 7 hours ago)

Reluctant to invest in the region, US opposes CPEC Realising the gravity of the financial crunch Pakistan is currently facing China has endorsed its decision to seek IMF support. Beijing has however…

Cartoons

Today’s Cartoon

by Syed Shahzeb Ali , (Last Updated 7 hours ago)

Business

FBR increases regulatory duty on 570 imported items by 5 to 10pc

October 17, 2018

ISLAMABAD: The Federal Board of Revenue (FBR) has increased the regulatory duty (RD) by 5 to 10 per cent on the import of 570 luxury items with an aim to curtail imports and strengthen the local industry. The tax department on...

Foreign

Trump says Saudi prince ‘totally denied any knowledge’ of what happened at consulate in Turkey regarding journalist’s disappearance

by Agencies , (Last Updated 2 hours ago)

RIYADH: US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo pressed Saudi leaders Tuesday to move quickly with a “transparent” investigation of the disappearance of Jamal Khashoggi, even as Turkish officials sifted through possible evidence at…

Featured

Media Watch: This guy? Seriously?

by The Tube , (Last Updated October 14, 2018)

No, not his finest hour. Farrukh Saleem, the newly-appointed government spokesperson for economic issues, had a tough time fielding questions from the ever-sharp, ever-unyielding Shahzaib Khanzada. Seeing the to-and-fro between the two,…

Sports

All-rounder Sohail Tanvir to represent Quetta in PSL 2019

by PPI , (Last Updated 7 hours ago)

KARACHI: The first significant trade of this year’s Pakistan Super League (PSL) trade window is now official with experienced left-arm pacer and low order batsman Sohail Tanvir moving from Multan Sultans to…

Lahore

PTI saves face in Punjab with populist budget

by Samiullah Randhawa , (Last Updated 3 hours ago)

–Govt presents over Rs2 trillion budget in Punjab Assembly –Allocates Rs238 billion for annual development expenditures, Rs373 billion for education, Rs284 billion for health department –Rs50.5 billion apportioned for supply of clean water, proper…

Karachi

CM approves Rs72.5bn poverty reduction strategy

by Staff Report , (Last Updated 3 hours ago)

KARACHI: Sindh Chief Minister Syed Murad Ali Shah on Tuesday approved poverty reduction strategy under which an investment approximately Rs72.5 billion will be made through interventions would in education, health, water and…

Islamabad

Capital police nab 527 gangsters

by Staff Report , (Last Updated 6 hours ago)

-8 blind murders traced in current year ISLAMABAD: Islamabad Police have emerged successful against criminal gangs involved in crimes of heinous nature as they arrested a total of 527 gangsters besides, busting…

Sarfraz asks teammates to follow on as they make their way to team bus

October 11, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) DUBAI – Pakistan captain Sarfraz Ahmed on Thursday asked his side to follow on as the side made their way to the team bus in the aftermath of the first Test match against Australia in Dubai. As the thrilling contest went down to the wire, a tired Sarfraz told his equally tired teammates to just follow on so that they could go back to the team hotel. The Pakistani captain said this with the authority and certainty that underscored that his was the right .....
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Bilal Asif among overseas Pakistanis influenced by Imran Khan’s speech: PTI

October 11, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) DUBAI – Pakistan’s debutant offspinner Bilal Asif, who tormented the Australian side with his six-for, left his job of an electrician in Kuwait only to help Imran Khan build Naya Pakistan, the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) said Wednesday. It is well-known by now that ten years ago, Bilal had almost quit cricket by joining his father in Kuwait to work as an electrician, but a change of heart brought him back. In a press statement, the opposition-cu .....
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‘Categorically demanded money from IMF, did not beg,’ Asad Umar reassures nation

October 11, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) WASHINGTON – Finance Minister Asad Umar reaffirmed the nation that Pakistan has formally demanded money from the International Monetary Fund to address its economic challenges, and did not put forward any request. Speaking exclusively to The Dependent, Umar said that the words used by IMF Managing Director Christine Lagarde were ‘misleading’. “There was no requesting, imploring or begging. We demanded money as a self-respecting, sovereign state .....
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Pakistan to adopt gold standard in new barter system economy, reveals Dr Farrukh Saleem

October 11, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) ISLAMABAD – Pakistan would adopt gold standard within the next five years in a revamped economy based entirely on the barter system, newly appointed spokesperson for the government Dr. Farrukh Saleem told our correspondent in a special interview. Dr Saleem extolled the virtues of adopting the gold standard to escape the grip of Bretton Woods consensus. He mentioned the possibility of overseas Pakistanis sending tons of gold to shore up the fledgling eco .....
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Govt in disarray after discovering Twitter bots can’t delete embarrassing tweets of the past

October 11, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) ISLAMABAD – With the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) for years having depended on the army, of Twitter bots, for its eventual electoral success this year, the party is finding it hard to cope with the reality that the soldiers can’t help it out in a mass purge of embarrassing tweets of the past. This has meant that the government is in complete disarray as it looks to deal with multiple crises, without the ability to rely on its most reliable militia to .....
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Govt expels Hafiz Saeed’s concerns

October 11, 2018 BY The Dependent

ISLAMABAD – The government on Thursday expelled the concerns of the owner and manager of multiple national and international Non-Governmental Organisations (NGOs) Hafiz Saeed, The Dependent has reliably learnt. The Ministry of Interior categorically shut down operations of around 18 concerns creeping inside Saeed’s mind and ordered them to leave his head. Saeed’s concerns centered around the future of LeT, an international non-government organisation which works in areas of cross-border transportation, radical trade, peace alleviati .....
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#NoTimeToWork: Imran Khan set to complete 2-month long enactment of being prime minister

October 11, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) ISLAMABAD – In a first, a play titled No Time To Work, a ground-breaking 2-month long performance that is being seen live around the world, will culminate on October 18. The play charts the first two months of PM K, played by acclaimed actor Imran Khan. No Time To Work has been an intense, unedited political scrutiny for two months. There are no breaks and the camera never looks away. Set inside a replica of an actual democratic state, PM K’s journ .....
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OMG! Mush’s adorable military coup has grown up to be 19-year-old hottie

October 11, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) LAHORE – We all remember former military dictator Gen (R) Pervez Musharraf’s adorable, sometimes awkward looking, offspring that dominated our television screens in the early 2000s. And we all remember falling in love with the military coup and allowing it to win our hearts. For the uninitiated, the adorable little guy is not-so-little anymore, and turns 18 today. And the latest images show that the cutie born in 1999 has grown up to be a hottie. A .....
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CJP outraged Asad Umar didn’t consult him before inflating cost of Bhasha dam

October 11, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) An outraged Chief Justice of Pakistan Mian Saqib Nisar on Thursday expressed anger and disappointment towards Federal Finance Minister Asad Umar for not consulting him before he inflated the cost of the Bhasha dam by billions of rupees. “This is unacceptable. Totally unacceptable. I demand that I be informed of all such decisions taken my any ministry that might affect anything” he said speaking to The Dependent. According to details, the cost of .....
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WhatsApp appointed government’s economic spokesperson

October 10, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) Popular messaging service WhatsApp was appointed govt spokesperson for economics and financial affairs on Wednesday. The messaging service will interface with the government and public through Islamabad-based pundit Dr Farrukh Saleem, who will read and forward the important spin on matters of public finance. Liaison Officer Dr Farrukh Saleem did away with pleasantries at the press conference and started right away. “Nawaz & Zardari were inform .....
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Govt directs ECP, NAB to ensure smooth by-polls

October 9, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) The government directed on Tuesday the Election Commission of Pakistan and the National Accountability Bureau to ensure that the upcoming by-polls are carried out in the smooth manner. “We want for the by-polls to take place like clockwork with absolutely no friction,” said Shehyrar Afridi, the federal minister of state for interior affairs. “We don’t want any funny business here. No untoward incidents, if you know what I mean,” he said to th .....
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“Awww, you remembered my birthday” says Imran Khan over secure line

October 6, 2018 BY The Dependent

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) “Aww, you remembered” said Prime Minister Imran Khan on Friday over a secure line. The Prime Minister was speaking in reference to the arrest of former Chief Minister Punjab and Leader of the Opposition Mian Shehbaz Sharif by NAB in the Ashiana housing project case. “I didn’t think you’d remember to get me anything for my birthday” he said while smiling daintily and visibly blushing. “I mean I thought at most you’d send me a wish .....
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