Basic civility, the simple art of treating others with respect, speaking kindly and showing patience, has truly vanished from society. Walk through a crowded street or a government office and you will see people yelling and pushing each other.
Even classrooms are turning into spaces of defiance and ego. Somewhere along the way, we stopped seeing politeness as strength, and started confusing aggression with confidence. This collapse of manners is not unique to Pakistan, but it feels sharper here.
Sociologists call civility the invisible glue that holds a society together. When that glue weakens, trust falls apart, and when trust disappears, fairness becomes a myth. Political turmoil, economic anxiety and constant frustration have eaten away at our sense of social balance.
You can see the evidence everywhere: talk shows that reward shouting over substance, political debates that rely on insults rather than ideas, and social media outrage that has become a national sport.
Rudeness now feels normal. Many people even defend it by saying they are just being straightforward. The erosion of manners begins at home. Families have changed dramatically. Parents are busier, weighed down by economic pressures or lost in their phones. Education has not filled this gap either. Culture has changed, too.
There used to be a shared sense of accountability; out of mutual respect, not out of fear. Economic stress only adds to the decline. When people are constantly struggling to survive, good manners start to feel like a luxury.
Rebuilding civility does not require a national campaign. It starts with ordinary choices: speak softly even when you are angry, listen before you reply, say thank you even when you do not have to. These gestures seem small, but they are the seeds of a better society. Good manners have nothing to do with status or education; they are about recognising the dignity of another human being.
What Pakistan needs most urgently is not just infrastructure made of concrete, but a moral infrastructure built on empathy and respect.
We live in an age of speed and uncertainty, caught between the pull of tradition and the push of modern life. The way we speak to a waiter, disagree with a colleague, or argue on social media platforms shows what kind of society we are becoming.
If we want Pakistani society to be kinder, wiser and more humane in texture, we will have to begin with something simple: learn once again to be polite.
DR MUHAMMAD ANWAR FAROOQ
RAHIM YAR KHAN
