My captain, o my captain!

I don’t think the recent beating by the West Indies in the ODI series is anything to worry about. Now if it had been Ireland or Afghanistan, then that would have been cause for concern. The Pakistan team did win the T20I series first, which carried on the good work done by Australia, which whitewashed the West Indies in all formats, including bowling them out for 27 in the Second Test, which is the lowest total ever scored by a West Indies team. To put matters in perspective, the lowest ever total was 26, when New Zealand got bowled out for 26 back in 1955. England had scored 246 in their only innings, a lead of 46, which let them claim an innings victory.

If you just look at the scorecard of the match at Sabina Park, Kingston, Jamaica, where the West Indies failed to cover themselves with glory (for that, they waited for Pakistan), you can see the deterioration of the pitch. In the first innings, Australia got bowled out for 246. Then the West Indies made 143. Australia were bowled out for 127. The West Indies had a target of 204, but were bowled out for 27.

There was no such problem with Pakistan. The ODIs were played in Lauderhill, Florida. It wasn’t sure Pakistan would be able to field a playing eleven, what with players burning their passports and striking out into the unknown. It was also a worry with the West Indies players, but Trump’s policies which involve deporting even legal migrants, let alone illegal, must have scared both sides into avoiding giving their team managers the slip. In Florida, there don’t seem to be any problem.

The same with Tarouba in Trinidad, where the T20Is were played. But in the last, Pakistan made 92 in the second innings, which was nearly 30 less than had just been made by the West Indies captain. Interestingly enough that was not a record. Pakistan has done worse no less than 10 times before.

Well, you could say it was a record of sorts, for it was Pakistan’s worst performance on West Indian soil. There have been four other lows against the West Indies, but they’ve been either in South Africa or Australia. The only fly in the ointment was the absence of Shan Masood from that train wreck.

However, the captain of the limited-over formats, Rizwan in the ODIs and Salman Ali Adgha in the T20Is seem to have imbibed his spirit. That’s why any team that wants to improve irs record in any format, should book a place now. A team has got to be in very low water if its gets beaten by the West Indies.

Only some really drastic action is needed. I am reminded of the time, during the 1st Gulf War, when Iraqi Preisdent Saddam Hussain threatened the Iraqi football team with the firing squad if they disdn’t win their next match. A Pentagon spokesman described this as a ‘dynamic zero-defects programme.’ I think the PCB needs to look into the concept. I gather it ‘s contemplating a wholesale revision of the central contracts, which is rather a mild reaction, but perhaps was inevitable. Or do players expect to be rewarded for losing?

While on cricket, one of the great comeback players of all time, Bobby Simpson, passed away, aged 86. I suppose Imran can take comfort from the fact that he was 86. That means Imran has hopes of being around for some more time.

I hope that is a good idea, but that would depend on whether KP CM Ali Amin Gandapur is anywhere to be found. KP is facing the worst effects of climate change, and I’m finding it difficult to wrap my head around the idea of so many people killed because of the monsoon. I wonder if Gandapur is in control of the situation or has any idea of what to do. Perhaps he should ask Shehbaz Sharif for the Wellington boots he wore around his capital while CM. Shehbaz is apparently supervising relief and rescue operations himself. Which means he needs those boots himself. I wonder if he can’t find them despite repeated searches. It sometimes happens, especially with things yout use only occasionally. Like rain gear.

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