Abusive relationship: A touching story of a victim

Alarming and one of the grave societal concerns

A healthy relationship leads to a healthy family bond, and when the relationship gets sour and affected and manipulated by others it can lead to an unhealthy relationship. Regarding domestic violence on a woman, where she has been trapped in a manipulative plot by her in-laws. it is heartbreaking and one’s heart cries at the injustice of the treatment that has been received throughout her married life of nearly 20 years. The eye-opening story of a victim, a woman from Rawalpindi, Ms Kazmi, who has been interviewed to make aware and raise the alarm towards one of the societal concerns regarding brutal domestic violence.

The victim, a highly educated woman, was married to an educated person by the mutual decision of both families considering it a good match. But, her in-laws never left any point of degrading her in front of their friends and neighbours as they had no relation with their whole family, even with their brothers and sisters. Soon after the marriage, she said that a strange family bonding was noticed, where brothers and sisters were seen not visiting each other or sitting together and she always heard her in-laws making negative remarks about each of them.

She said that “All the time, my in-laws were seen fighting from one side with me and the mission was only to degrade me at every step and they tried to show their superiority, and the atmosphere and attitude towards me was toxic and insulting. I was told to stop my parents from visiting there. I was not allowed to give birth to kids.

“Once, I heard my in-laws saying among themselves to frame me and keep insulting me by forcing me to leave their house as to why I was not bringing my property, and why I should live in their house as it belongs to them. Every day, I was being trapped. They initiated their plans by calling their daughter and her husband from Lahore to drag me out by manipulating the relationship between husband and wife.

“They used to fight at once without any reason. All the time, they were seen fighting. As soon as their daughter saw me, she shouted and said, this house is hers, who are you to live here and asked me to immediately leave the house. My mother-in-law and father-in-law were fully supporting her. My husband recognized at that time that all were fighting with me one-sided and took the decision to live in a separate rented house. Whenever my husband would visit his parents’ house, he became infuriated and used to quarrel with me on his return”.

The touching story of an innocent victim made my heart cry. She was blamed throughout her married life for living under her husband’s roof and on his food. She should bring her things to live upon otherwise she will be divorced. That was the thing which made her terrified about marriage, she has two children, a boy of 17 and a girl of eight. She was bearing all for her kids to survive and give them a better life. With time, she had a chance of doing her doctorate at her parents’ expense as her husband also went abroad for his PhD.

All expenses of the victim were borne by her parents related to study and traveling. She was tortured, strangulated, and abused verbally, physically, and mentally to live under her husband’s roof and food. Such greed has never been seen, even a highly educated person’s mind cannot be changed by counseling. The husband in closed-door used to make plans on the telephone with her in-laws, and they were heard telling him to treat his wife so that she will be characterized and will be kept on two divorces, and her kids would be manipulated against her.

A brave voice by a victim against domestic violence deserves to be heard and treated with justice. All prayers for her stance that is the voice for all those women, who are facing injustice and unjust divorce by an insecure, greedy and jealous-natured-man. These people are those black spots in our culture who are ruining the lives of innocent women. 

While giving the details of her husband’s brutal behaviour, she stated that “I was never given help by any helping hand at home throughout my married life of nearly 20 years. On my return to Pakistan, my husband made me live again for a few months at my in-laws’ house to resettle. I heard the family’s manipulative behaviour against me and provoking my husband to give her two divorces to get her property from her parents in his name. Without any reason, he used to run towards me many times a day, pull my hair, drag me on the floor from one room to another by hurling abuses and asking for a jeep and four-kanal house at the capital city immediately from my parents.

“My telephone, laptop, the landline was kept away, and my passport, ID card, and all academic documents were taken away. I was physically beaten if I tried to communicate with anyone. I was not allowed to talk to my kids and use any facility in the house. I was dragged by the hair to the servant quarter many times to live there.

“Throughout, I was listening to abuses against my whole family and even my distant relatives. His mother used to laugh and always provoked my husband to treat the wife like this as one gets the property on one’s name ion one’s life in this way. His mother, daughter, and brother-in-law were heard and seen communicating with each other for many hours in a day as they all used to talk on speakerphones.

“I was bleeding from inside with severe bruises that were mentioned in the medical report. I was harassed with uploading my fake photographs to defame me; I was threatened to death on pistol point; I was forced to be abused through my son by narrating fake stories; mother-in-law was seen doing very suspicious acts many times in her closed room with the help of lemon, green chili, and salt”.

On 13 June, the incident turned horrific. She said “I was kept on a three-day probation, and if the property would not be transferred, I will get the divorce. After three consecutive months of severe physical, mental, and verbal abuse with all bruises, the property was not transferred by my father on this brutal attitude of in-laws towards me. I was shivering when I heard my in-laws’ video and audio calls with their daughter and her husband where they were screaming that I should be dragged out of the house to get the property, by keeping my kids back, they were insisting on pronouncing two divorces, taking away the jewelry from the locker, my ID card, and passport by not allowing anything to be taken away. They were shouting to destroy my academic record and laptop.

“By getting all under their control, they will be able to get the property in their name. The same plan was implemented and they captured all my belongings. One day, I got hold of a landline that was kept hidden from me, and I got a chance to inform my parents to save me as so far I was pronounced twice divorces and all plan were applied to me. In no time, I was rescued under police custody and taken away by my senior relatives who were witnesses of brutal and abnormal behaviour

The Supreme Court heard the case and felt sorry for such a brutal attitude of my husband that was proved after twice reinvestigation. He was pronounced by the honorable judges as a weak man, who was fighting with an innocent woman, who was working side by side along with him. He was announced a man who was running away from his responsibilities by forcing his wife brutally to bring property in his name”.

In a nutshell, by considering this event, it was already planned plotting that was heard and seen by the victim and her family. She has lost her kids, academic documents, her already laid out house, jewelry, and even her everyday belongings of . She came out of the house after two divorces in three clothes. She has no house, nothing left at her hand for survival except her brain and knowledge through which she has earned her doctorate from abroad. Such a brutal attitude towards a woman is sick and considered a criminal act.

A brave voice by a victim against domestic violence deserves to be heard and treated with justice. All prayers for her stance that is the voice for all those women, who are facing injustice and unjust divorce by an insecure, greedy and jealous-natured-man. These people are those black spots in our culture who are ruining the lives of innocent women.

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Dr. Saira Asad
Dr. Saira Asad
The writer is a PhD from University Tun Hussein Onn Malaysia (UTHM), an award-winning columnist, researcher, and Adjunct Assistant Professor at Riphah International University (Media Sciences Department), Islamabad, Pakistan. She can be reached at [email protected].

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