Women’s right to refuse marriage proposals is grounded in Islam

Islam grants women the full right to accept or reject marriage proposals, free from fear or coercion. This fundamental right is also enshrined in the Constitution of Pakistan, which guarantees personal liberty and the freedom to make choices. However, across the country, a woman’s refusal is often seen not as an assertion of autonomy but as an act of defiance—one that some men respond to with violence, cruelty, and even murder.

Religious scholars, activists, and experts have condemned these violent acts, stressing that they go against the teachings of Islam.

On June 2, 2025, Sana Yousaf was tragically shot twice in the chest by Umar Hayat, a man whose repeated marriage proposals she had rejected. Similarly, in Rawalpindi, 18-year-old Sidra Bibi was allegedly killed on the orders of a local jirga after marrying the man of her choice.

Maulana Hafiz Muhammad Yasir Attari, a respected Islamic scholar, affirmed that, according to Shariah, a woman has the complete right to accept or reject a marriage proposal. He explained that the Prophet Muhammad emphasized the importance of consent, stating that silence from a woman is a sign of her agreement. This Hadith confirms that a woman’s will cannot be overruled by any guardian, family member, or tribal council.

“Rejection is not a sin,” Maulana Yasir added. “It is neither ingratitude nor rebellion. Islam values personal preferences and emotional compatibility. Saying ‘no’ is a woman’s Islamic right—lawful, protected, and sacred.”

He also condemned acts of violence in the name of honor, stating that such acts—including honor killings, burning, and suffocation—are un-Islamic, unjust, and should be prosecuted as murder and terrorism by the state.

In a July 2025 statement, the Pakistan Ulema Council reiterated that Islam strictly forbids honor killings and affirms a woman’s right to marry whomever she chooses, without violence or coercion.

Dr. Sobia Khateeb, a clinical psychologist, shed light on the emotional dynamics driving this violence. She stated that rejection-driven violence often stems from emotional immaturity and fragile masculinity. Many boys are not taught how to handle rejection and equate manhood with control, she said. Dr. Khateeb emphasized that legal reforms alone are not enough; the real change must begin with raising boys who understand emotional intelligence and trauma-informed care.

Rabbiya A Turkman, a journalist and Deputy Editor of Risala Today, pointed out the media’s biased portrayal of gender-based violence. She highlighted that when powerful individuals are involved, mainstream media often fails to report these incidents, while social media plays a crucial role in building public pressure and preserving historical records.

Muhammad Sanaullah Khan, an educationist at NUML University Islamabad, emphasized the transformative role of education. He stated that classrooms must become safe spaces where gender equality, consent education, and empathy are taught to challenge ingrained stereotypes.

Bushra Iqbal Hussain, CEO of Mahfooz Bachpan, criticized law enforcement agencies for their failure to protect women. “Police often assume the girl did something wrong. Threats, acid attacks, and character assassination follow. Girls live in fear—not only for themselves but also for their families,” she said.

Hina Mushtaq, a student at COMSATS Islamabad, reflected on the generational challenges women face. “Whether we speak up depends on our environment. Fear of judgment silences many of us, but campuses that promote equality help students find their voices,” she said.

This issue is not only a legal crisis but also a cultural one. These tragedies reflect a toxic mix of patriarchal entitlement, legal loopholes, and the silence of those in power. Laws mean little without proper enforcement, and honor means nothing when it costs lives.

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