A girl is born with hopeful eyes and a soul as pure as a crisp white page, but little does she know her gender had many strings attached. Everything is sunshine and rainbows till childhood but then things start going downhill for good.
People start whispering, a constant shadow of judgmental aunties starts following her, smiles turn into frowns, and suddenly she starts feeling that the whole world is dying to give their two cents on her life and find ways to protect her as if she were a weak lamb.
Well, do they want to protect her or just act on their savior complex?
In Pakistan, women make up 48.5 percent of the whole population. However, despite various gender reforms and robust NGO movements, women still struggle to voice their frustrations and experience the blissful feeling of freedom. To sit in a park and take swings, to ride a bicycle and feel the cold breeze, to stay out with friends after dark, to go on long drives after work, to fall in love, to opt for the career of her choice, to go abroad guilt-free, to wear the outfit her heart desires… Is that a lot to ask for?
Unfortunately, in a country like ours, the fate of a woman is sealed by the society she resides. She might be rebellious and decide to meet her parents midway on some issues, but once again the notorious society circulates the poor woman and strips her of the glimpse of happiness and freedom she fought for. She does not remember the beautiful moments of her childhood but she surely does remember the pressures of being a pious lady in her years growing up. Her whole teenage and adolescent life she is torn between pleasing her parents, leading a life by the norms of society, and doing what makes her happy. Amid the hustle and bustle, she forgets to take a breather, and deal with the whirlwind of emotions that have set camp in her body.
She’s just tired of carrying the burdens of people’s opinions on her shoulders, she wants to climb a mountain and scream her lungs out till the frustration leaves her body and runs down her rosy cheeks as tear droplets.
“Parh k kya karoge” (What will you achieve studying?), “Ab shadi kar lo nahi toh waqt guzar jayega” ( About time you get married otherwise the time will pass), “ Ye pehan ke bahar jaogi?” (Will you wear this and go out?), “Shaadi k baad toh bas ghar aur bachon par dhyan dena” (You will just be looking after your kids and the household after marriage). These are the statements an average Pakistani woman has to listen to at some point in her life. No one ever thinks twice about passing such condescending comments. To them, it might be a few words that they will forget about in the morning, but these very words would act as daggers ripping through the soul of a naive woman and driving her into a deep state of worthlessness and eventually into an existential crisis.
It is a shame how the plight of women does not end here…
A woman can never let her guard down once she leaves the premises of her residence. She is like a warrior going out into the battlefield with the sole objective of making it back home unharmed. Be it a woman driving her car, or a woman commuting through public transport, both have to withstand the obnoxious stares of men scanning through their garments and staring at them till they move on. Passing the streets she has to turn a blind eye to the chants, whistles, and those disgusting smirks from men around her. What a beautiful start to the day right??
After a whole day of hard work even making a small pitstop at the superstore seems to be a huge task. Not to mention the shameful gaze of the shopkeeper as she asks for a pack of sanitary pads. Still wondering when this act became a crime.
The list just goes on and on, and a woman can’t help but feel stuck in a vicious loop of a lifelong struggle. It is sad that all the issues discussed earlier are not even more significant. Rape, murder, honor killings, kidnappings, domestic violence, workplace harassment, gender discrimination, forced marriages, child abuse, and acid attacks must be happening in some parts of the country as we talk about it. Policies have been made, but they have barely made any contributions to better the state of women in Pakistan. Women are being dehumanized and killed in cold blood at the hand of egocentric narcissistic men. If we were created equal at birth, why must women suffer at the hands of a male-dominated society?
Women just want a moment of peace and tranquility.
Today, I hope and pray that every woman in this nation has autonomy. I pray she becomes the person she aspires to be regardless of society’s reservations because when she is in deep waters these people would do nothing except stigmatize her. I hope every woman is respected. I hope a woman is another woman’s friend. I hope men drop the act of hypocrisy and let go of the evil desires and hostilities that breed within. I hope every woman can wander around the streets safely. And I hope every newborn girl born with hopeful eyes does not let the world seal her fate, her destiny is hers to create and so she shall.
HAIDER ALI
LAHORE
