Categories: NationalThe Dependent

“Jaani WTF” says Shahid Khan after waking up and reading Facebook notifications

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

Waking up early on Sunday morning in the USA, Pakistani origins billionaire Shahid Khan was shocked to learn through social media that he had apparently donated $1 billion to the PM-CJP Diamer and Bhasha Dams fund.

“Well it was like any other morning. I woke up a little groggy, and reached for my phone” the Jaguar’s owner said speaking to The Dependent over the phone.

“I decided to check my whatsapp, and right there this uncle had sent me a link saying I had donated a billion dollars to the dams fund!”

“I was like, Jaani WTF.”

So I checked my facebook feed, but instead of the regular stream of dank memes, I discovered that I had apparently donated a billion dollars to the dams fund!”

“And for the second time that morning, I was all like, Jaani WTF.”

“I mean I know I’m rich and have done pretty well for myself, but damn that’s a lot of money!” the billionaire businessman went on to say.

Thinking it was some sort of mistake, Mr Khan made a call to his accountant at once and asked him “Jaani WTF.”

“My accountant responded with ‘same’. Apparently no money has been transferred. But then again, all these media houses are saying that I’ve done it so I dunno it has to be true.”

“In fact, I actually tried to transfer $1000 when the PM gave that speech but there was some problem with the IBAN number on the account. I don’t even know how this billion thing would work” he said.

“Jaani WTF” he ended.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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