Categories: BusinessThe Dependent

Global capitalism under threat as Naya Pakistan’s welfare economy up by hundreds of trillions

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

WASHINGTON DC/TEL AVIV/NEW BRUNSWICK/NAYA KARACHI – Global capitalist system is officially under threat, after the nayi economy – a welfare system that could spread across the world – of Naya Pakistan, has already been boosted by hundreds of trillions of dollars without even formally starting off. And the ripples are already being felt around the world.

In a conference call this morning between representatives of World Zionist Organisation, IMF, World Bank, Elders of the Zion and the Olympic Committee for Table Tennis, the recent victory of Imran Khan’s Pakistan Tehreek-Insaaf (PTI) was discussed with alarm, according to our carefully hidden sources.

A large swathe of Oversees Pakistanis have started sending money to Pakistan ($200 trillion is a conservative estimate) and almost every family is sending a member as a tribute to the homeland to get Pakistan back on the highway to prosperity.

Despite international conspiracies, PTI Chief Imran Khan cruised to a victory in the national elections, heaping misery on all enemies of Pakistan and BO.

The large outflow of cash from multiple countries to Pakistan is a huge problem for the international banking system, the ramifications of which were discussed during the conference call.

According to confirmed sources on World’s most Authentic Broadcast network, WhatsApp, it was reported that Prince Muhammad bin Sultan is arriving in Islamabad any day with $20 billion in cash and oil cans.

These measures are expected to make Pakistan the fourth richest country in the world, just behind Luxembourg and South Ossetia.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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