Categories: ForeignInternationalSliderThe Dependent

Spread terror in Muslim world at US request so blame them pretty please, pouts Saudi crown prince

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

RIYADH – The Saudi-funded spread of Wahhabism began as a result of US asking Riyadh to help counter the Soviet Union during the Cold War, asserting back then that it was okay if a few hundred thousands of Muslims were killed and hundreds of millions impacted over the course of next three decades, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman told The Dependent.

Speaking to this scribe, bin Salman said that Saudi Arabia’s close ally US urged the country to invest in mosques and madrassas overseas during the Cold War, in an effort to prevent encroachment by the Soviet Union, and that the resulting expected terrorism jarring the Muslim world would be perfectly alright and not a blot at all on the kingdom.

“So blame them please,” pouted the crown prince in the exclusive interview with The Dependent, in what was the first exclusive pout given by Mohammed bin Salman to any media organisation around the world.

He added that successive Saudi governments had proved to be true allies, saying “we gave it all to ensure that we fulfill what is required of a true friendship at the cost of global Muslim interests, of which we were perfectly aware.”

Bin Salman also said that terrorism now comes mostly from Saudi-based ‘foundations’, about which the authorities have rigorously done nothing, rather than from the government, of which none actually exists in Saudi Arabia.

The Saudi Crown Prince also confirmed that the US is still contributing money in the bombardment of Yemen and indirectly party to persecution of the Shia and atheists, along with the violent Sharia punishments that are being enforced in the kingdom, hence they cannot be halted in spirit of true friendship.

“So blame them pretty please,” pouted the crown prince again in the exclusive interview with The Dependent, in what was the second exclusive pout given by Mohammed bin Salman to any media organisation around the world.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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