Falling on one’s sword

KP CM Sohaill Afridii should fall on his sword. Not figuratively, the way his predecessor Ali Amin Gandapur did when he resigned, but literally. He might have to search for a sword, but surely he can find one in Abbottabad, which is both where the recent by-election to NA-18 was held and where the Pakistan Military Academy is located.

The tradition was started by Roman commanders when defeated. It is recorded by Brutus, Caesar’s assassin, that when he lost the Battle of Pharsalus to Octavian Caesar (later to be Augustus), he fell on his sword. For Roman commanders, losing was unthinkable. And losing not just meant one wasn’t worthy of one’s command, but one was not fit to live. The same applies to CMs who lose by-elections, even if the seat vacated had been held by the Opposition.

It isn’t really a duty of the CM to see that his party win the by-elections in his province during his tenure, but a prerogative of office. It goes with the territory. But there is a flipside.

If you lose, it means that you have lost control of your province. The police and the district administration are no longer obeying you. And if that obedience stops, then what price being CM? So the best thing to do is to get a sword, make sure the point is upwards and then throw yourself onto the point.

Another method is the Japanese hara-kiri, or seppuku, which is a ritual disembowelment with a special knife (or short sword), which the samurai concerned has kept with him his entire life. The disembowelment is carried out while seated. To one side is a friend, who bears a naked samurai sword capable of cutting off your head, which he will use to dispatch his principal if his courage fails him or if he is in too much pain. The problem with disembowelment is that if one fails to cut the celiac trunk artery and just cuts the intestinal blood vessels, one will die, yes, but not quickly; in fact, it might take days.

I would suspect that our CMs trying to seek a friend for the task would find no takers. I mean, who wants to do anything for someone who is no longer going to be CM and has no chance of coming back to office? And then have a murder charge hung on one, and that too of a CM.

It was a relief to both Maryam Nawaz and Ali Amin Gandapur to know that she had not lost a single by-election and that he was not CM. He was to have supervised this by-election, but he resigned first. Going by what he did in the Kashmir elections, he would probably have fulminated against the PPP or maybe the PML(N) in the by-election, inviting the wrath of the Election Commission. That wrath has descended on Sohail Afridi, who has not just let a safe seat be lost but has lost the national seat of the PTI leader in the KP Assembly, Akbar Ayub Khan.

So Sohail Afridi lives to fight another day. There will probably be more by-elections before the tenure is out, and Sohail Afridi is ready to make a concession speech for all of them. And make no mistake. The PML(N) now smells blood, and the central government will ensure it doesn’t lose anything.

Sohail Afridi is unlike Dharmendra, the Indian actor who passed away last week. A fortnight shy of his 90th birthday. He was an orthodox actor, but he was part of the transformation of Indian cinema that was Sholay, back in 1975. Of the main characters, Sanjeev Kumar and Amjad Khan have been long dead, while comedian Asrani died a few weeks ago. Amitabh Bachchan is alive, as are his wife Jaya and Dharmendra’s wife, Hema Malini. Dharmendra was a Sikh, but a mona.

He was not the only loss world cinema suffered. Tom Stoppard also died. He will be remembered for his theater plays, for their caustic wit and literary quality. But he will also be remembered as one of the writers of Star Wars (not the original movies, but the first of the new movies, Revenge of the Sith), as well as Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Not to mention Shakespeare in Love.

On the same tragic note, though not involving death, it seems that Imran Khan wryly regretted the treason and ingratitude of the Sri Lankan players, who threw away their wickets to Shaheen Shah Afridi, which helps him get on the same page. That Pakistan won the Tri-Series is neither here nor there. Pakistan also is in on the conspiracy.