Rapping out of the kitchen

Of all the places to elect a rapper as chief executive, it had to be Nepal. For a lot of people, the news that an ex-rapper had led his party to victory in Nepal came as a shock, not because he was a rank outsider (which he was), but because it revealed that Nepal had a rap scene, and Nepali was one of the languages in which you could rap. I hang my head in shame, as I admit that I was one of those people. I would like to apologise to all Nepali speakers, and remind the readers that Baluchi has produced a female rapper in Lyari in Eva B, so why not Nepali rap?

In fact, I wonder why we don’t get her on the same page and make her Prime Minister. After all, she raps from behind a burka. Balendra’s win also throws a new light on the Sidhu Moosewala (as Shubhdeep Singh Moosewala rapped under) assassination in 2022. It seems it was a joint operation by Modi and Rahul Gandhi, to prevent a rival from emerging.

Is the win by Balendra Shah to be compared to Bob Dylan winning the Nobel Prize for literature in 2016, an award which has inspired rappers, rockers and other songwriters to a new ambition? Or is he to be compared with Turkey’s Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, who also started his career as mayor of his country’s capital city? Or is he to be compared to our own Imran Khan, because he comes from an entirely different background to politics, and because he is against corruption (He has been elected in the first Nepalese elections since the Gen Z protests last year, when protesters objected to the corruption of the politicians,)

I think the comparison with Imran breaks down because he hasn’t won anything for Nepal, like a World Cup. As far as I know, he hasn’t fathered any illegitimate daughters, nor does he do cocaine. I also wonder if he’s on the same page as the Nepali Army chief. And nor has he set up even a dispensary.

Of course, the pressure has now shifted to other rappers. Kanye West, for example needs to up his game if he has any hope of succeeding Donald Trump as posterboy for the MAGA movement. So far, rappers had been killed in drug deals after their careers were over, like Tupac Shakur. Now Balen Shah is showing a new path.

Still, he shouldn’t think he’s got any right to do anything about corruption until he has got permission from our own crusader. He is apparently wroth at the Bangladesh cricket team, which showed unsportsmanlike behaviour, and a distressing tendency to get Shaheen Shah Afridi on the same page instead of Imran by throwing their wickets away to him

Bangladesh has moved in a new direction, with the speaker of the Bangladesh Jatiya Sangsad (Parliament) Major (retd) Hafizuddin Ahmed, a former captain of the Pakistan football team. And he had first got into an Army when he had joined the Pakistan Army, before 1971 of course. I can understand Azharuddin thinking he’s got a future if he came to Pakistan, but I’m not sure that’s how it works.

I see the government has appointed Nehal Hashmi Governor of Sindh. Well, he was removed from the Senate for contempt of court, and even if he is still eligible, you can be sure someone or the other will challenge the appointment. Anyhow, Hashmi is a lawyer, so he won’t be worried about representation.

Another Hashmi in the news was the actor Shujaat Hashmi, who passed away. He, along with the other actor to pass away, Asim Bukhari, wasn’t a star, but was one of those actors who provided the ecosystem within which theatre, TV and film survived. Otherwise, you have one of those films where you have only a hero and a heroine. I saw one of those rare attempts recently, Malcolm & Marie, and you could see what a tremendous strain it was for the director, scriptwriter and the actors.

On the other hand, all films, plays and TV plays have other characters. Played by character actors like Asim Bukhari and Shujaat Hashmi. I can think of many less honourable things to be.

One of those things is probably being a member of an IMF review team. And the review team for Pakistan objected to the recent changes to the ECP Act, which allowed politicians to conceal their assets, because it made public confidential information. Hey, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. If you want to keep details of your wealth secret, don’t fight elections.