Encouraging new Punjab Food Authority survey reveals traces of chicken in chicken products

An encouraging new survey conducted by the Punjab Food Authority (PFA) has revealed a surprising amount of chicken traces in the chicken products sold throughout the province.“This was an extens

The Dependent

The Dependent

April 11, 2019

1 min read
Encouraging new Punjab Food Authority survey reveals traces of chicken in chicken products

An encouraging new survey conducted by the Punjab Food Authority (PFA) has revealed a surprising amount of chicken traces in the chicken products sold throughout the province.

“This was an extensive, cross-sectional survey that the Authority has conducted over the course of one year,” said Hassan Ashfaq, Director Research, PFA.

“And we were as surprised as the scientists over as PCSIR who carried out the survey.”

“Not only did the study reveal a large quantum of chicken traces in the products, but there were also indications that these were showing a steady increase,” he added.

“Yes, of course, the pessimists would point out the negatives, that a significant proportion of said traces were chicken faeces, but hey, we would still chalk it down as a win,” he said.

“It is time to look at the positives,” he said. “Instead of going berserk over all that coverage of donkey meat, did anyone ever report the good quality of that organic donkey meat itself?”

“It wasn’t good quality donkey meat, no, but no one bothered checking if it was, is what I’m saying,” he said, in response to a follow up question.

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The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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