(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – The Punjab government is going to hire a spokesperson for Punjab government spokesperson Fayyazul Hassan Chohan, sources within the Punjab government have told The Dependent.
This means that provincial Information Minister Fayyazul Hassan Chohan whose portfolio includes his role as spokesperson for the provincial government will soon have a personal information minister whose portfolio will include their role as spokesperson for Chohan.
The move comes after the Punjab government determined that speaking on behalf of the government spokesperson Chohan, and issuing clarifications for his statements, is a full-time job that should be delegated to a reliable member of the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf led Punjab government.
Leaders of the ruling party confirm that the move is a part of PTI’s nationwide austerity drive. “That Chohan fellow can sure do with some austerity supplements,” a senior PTI leader wishing anonymity told The Dependent inside his private jet.
Speaking to The Dependent, Punjab government spokesperson Fayyazul Hassan Chohan claimed that no one is being hired as his spokesperson, which at press time was confirmed by the Punjab government officials as the first statement that Chohan’s soon to be hired spokesperson will be refuting following his appointment.
