Categories: BusinessThe Dependent

World Press Freedom Day: Nationwide laundries offer 15% discount on trouser pressing

ISLAMABAD/LAHORE/KARACHI/PESHAWAR/QUETTA – Laundries all over Pakistan agreed to give a 15% discount on ironing of pants, trousers and shalwars on Thursday, May 3, to commemorate World Press Freedom Day.

The decision was unanimously implemented all over the country, amidst misreporting around the world that Pakistan does not have press freedom.

“This would tell the world that any claims of there being no press freedom are fabrications propagated by the enemies of Pakistan #ThankYouSharifCleaners,” was tweeted simultaneously by 236,179 Twitter handles of laundries around Pakistan.

Furthermore, nationwide laundries are also offering an additional 10% discount on specific promo codes. This scribe has already availed three discounts using the following promo codes: 121099, HQNTTA and SNEFED.

Furthermore, chosen laundries are also offering complimentary polishing service along with pressing more than 10 trousers.

Sources within the cleaning industry have informed The Dependent that those laundries defying the nationwide 15% World Press Freedom Day discount offer, by choosing not to offer any discount, or offering a different percentage off, or giving the discount on a separate clothing item, have been closed down.

“We value freedom of pressing, washing and cleaning, without these the cleaning industry cannot function,” said the media spokesperson of We’ll Take You to the Cleaners.

“But there’s nothing more important than the country, and anyone not falling in line, will eventually fall out of it.”

At press time this scribe was stuck in a laundry room without his pants.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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