Categories: LocalNationalThe Dependent

Record breaking regret wave in Karachi as citizens recall all donkey jokes made at Lahore’s expense

Relief camps have been set up all over Karachi as the Sindh government struggles to deal with the record breaking wave of regret which hit the City last week, after it was discovered that donkey meat being passed off as beef in different restaurants in the metropolis.

“When I first heard the news on television, I thought the news anchor had simply mistaken Lahore for Karachi, and I actually laughed. But when they zoomed in on footage of Hyderabadi Kebab being shut down and Akram Bhai being taken away in chains, I knew” said Fazal Ahmad, a resident of Clifton.

“Whenever any of my Lahore friends tried to engage in City wars, I simply used to tell them to go eat gadha nihari. What will I do now?” questioned Murad Khan, as he sat outside another sealed eatery near Shahra e Faisal.

A special survey conducted by The Dependent’s statistical analysis team has also learned that nearly all of Karachi’s population has been swept up by the regret wave, and are remembering all the times they mocked their Lahori friends for their unsuspecting consumption of donkey meat.

“I am afraid that this epidemic is spreading like wildfire, and the government’s efforts to contain it have completely fallen through” read the statistical analysis report.

Meanwhile, the government has been desperately trying to rehabilitate those affected by setting up hotlines and camps to convince them that they probably didn’t even go to any such place.

“I’m afraid it really isn’t working though. And how can it when the regret wave has found itself all the way up to the CM house” said a City administration official on condition of anonymity.

Meanwhile, Federal Minister for Inter Provincial Coordination, Mr Riaz Hussain Pirzada has responded by saying this new link between Punjab and Sindh should be used to foster a better relationship between the provinces.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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