[The piece below is a work of satire. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.]
The Pakistan Telecommunications Authority (PTA) has revealed its plan to block popular social media sites after implementing a VPN ban.
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with fighting the global information war with having homegrown sites of our own,” said Major General (R) Amir Azeem Bajwa Hilal-e-Imtiaz (Military). “Yes, we will make our own versions of these sites, social networking or otherwise. Don’t you remember MillatBook taking on Facebook? Sort of like that.”
“The plan is to make our own YouTube, our own PornHub, our own SpankBang and our own Twitter,” he said. “We need to make our own versions of these sites. Homegrown. Made in Pakistan!”
“Don’t think we can’t do it ourselves,” he said. “Made in Pakistan! Lets! Bleed! Green!”
“Now if you will excuse me,” he said, speaking to the reporters at the press conference. “I have to go to the NUST incubation centre, where a startup is presenting to me a local version of Grindr app.”
