(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – Demonstrating typical visionary leadership, and an uncanny knack of showing the masses the right path, Prime Minister Imran Khan on Monday told the nation off for listening to a ‘moron’ who had ‘no idea what he was talking about’.
Addressing the nation, the PM said that the entire world has now understood that morons are not a solution for the covid-19 pandemic.
“When a state imposes morons on its people, the spread of the idiocy increases. One such imposed moron said coronavirus is like flu and you idiots believed him?” PM Khan told off the nation.
“Just because some high-level jackass constantly violates SOPs, by not wearing masks in public for instance, does not mean you all should do the same. Let me remind you that you are all responsible for your own foolishness.
“Hence, listen to experts, those who know what they’re talking about, not some clown who comes on TV once every few days to contradict himself,” he added.
Prime Minister Imran Khan said that the government expects Pakistan’s collective idiocy to peak by the end of July or August.
“In the meantime, please don’t believe any fool imposed on you who tells you ‘ghabrana nahi hai’. Laazmi ghabrana hai, if anything doing it might actually help you take a pandemic seriously,” the PM concluded with characteristic integrity.
