Categories: ForeignThe Dependent

RAW scientists develop 7th generation warfare inside lab, reports Defenders of Pak

In a startling turn of events, scientists working for the Indian spy agency RAW have developed what is being called ‘7th generation warfare,’ reported local media outlet, Defenders of Pak

The new investigative report suggests that the project was commissioned by the Indian government in a bid to try and bamboozle the Pakistan Army.

“Basically what they have done is completely skip 6th generation warfare in order to get the element of surprise” explained defence analyst Zaid Hamid to the team.

“Pakistan was prepared for 6th generation warfare. Considering we are currently under attack from the 5th generation kind, we had put together counter measures for when the 6th generation eventually kicked in.”

“However now they have decided to forgo that and attack us with 7th generation warfare, for which we did not prepare. We’ve been straight up Windows 10’d!” he went on to add.

Sources have also said that this new development has the United States scrambling, which had been planning a space force to combat 6th generation warfare but has been caught off guard by India’s leap frog jump straight to 7th generation warfare.

“The basic premise of 7th generation warfare is very interesting. It is surprise based. To catch us off guard, they will attack us with mood swings and passive aggressive text messages” Hamid explained in a series of tweets.

“The time for direct warfare is over. So is the time for political and ideological warfare. Now we’re going to face our worst nightmare: demands for commitment” he ended.

Meanwhile, inside information available with The Dependent can confirm that the Indian scientists behind the project are already working on another generation of warfare, but might just choose to jump straight to 9.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

Disqus Comments Loading...

Recent Posts

Federal Ministers congratulate Khadija Siddiqi on Supreme Court win

Federal Ministers for Information and Human Rights Fawad Chaudhry and Shireen Mazari congratulated stabbing victim Khadija Siddiqi for winning her…

3 mins ago

1,800 CNICs stolen ahead of PS-94 by-polls in Karachi

At least 1,800 computerised national identity cards (CNICs) were stolen from the National Database and Registration Authority's (NADRA) office in…

6 hours ago

Business community terms finance bill investor-friendly

The business community has largely termed the newly-presented finance bill as investment-friendly and positive in terms of future economic growth.…

8 hours ago

Saudi CGS General Faiyad acknowledges Pakistan Army’s professionalism

RAWALPINDI: A delegation of Royal Saudi Army led by Chief of General Staff (CGS), Saudi Armed Forces, General Faiyad Bin Hamed…

8 hours ago

Pakistan suspended from Pro League Hockey 2019

The International Hockey Federation (FIH) on Wednesday suspended Pakistan from participation in FIH Pro Hockey League 2019 after the Pakistan…

8 hours ago

Kashmir Solidarity Day to be observed on Feb 5: Qureshi

ISLAMABAD: Minister for Foreign Affairs Shah Mahmood Qureshi has said that the Kashmir Solidarity Day will be observed on February 5,…

9 hours ago