Categories: ForeignThe Dependent

RAW scientists develop 7th generation warfare inside lab, reports Defenders of Pak

In a startling turn of events, scientists working for the Indian spy agency RAW have developed what is being called ‘7th generation warfare,’ reported local media outlet, Defenders of Pak

The new investigative report suggests that the project was commissioned by the Indian government in a bid to try and bamboozle the Pakistan Army.

“Basically what they have done is completely skip 6th generation warfare in order to get the element of surprise” explained defence analyst Zaid Hamid to the team.

“Pakistan was prepared for 6th generation warfare. Considering we are currently under attack from the 5th generation kind, we had put together counter measures for when the 6th generation eventually kicked in.”

“However now they have decided to forgo that and attack us with 7th generation warfare, for which we did not prepare. We’ve been straight up Windows 10’d!” he went on to add.

Sources have also said that this new development has the United States scrambling, which had been planning a space force to combat 6th generation warfare but has been caught off guard by India’s leap frog jump straight to 7th generation warfare.

“The basic premise of 7th generation warfare is very interesting. It is surprise based. To catch us off guard, they will attack us with mood swings and passive aggressive text messages” Hamid explained in a series of tweets.

“The time for direct warfare is over. So is the time for political and ideological warfare. Now we’re going to face our worst nightmare: demands for commitment” he ended.

Meanwhile, inside information available with The Dependent can confirm that the Indian scientists behind the project are already working on another generation of warfare, but might just choose to jump straight to 9.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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