“By phateecher, what he actually meant…,” says Shireen Mazari before giving up

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The Dependent

The Dependent

March 7, 2017

1 min read
“By phateecher, what he actually meant…,” says Shireen Mazari before giving up

 

Speaking to reporters at a press conference at the central secretariat of the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf, PTI central information secretary Shireen Mazari managed an impressive four words before giving up in her attempt to clarify the words of party chairman Imran Khan that had been leaked in a video.

“By phateecher, what he actually meant…,” the party stalwart said, before stopping, looking down and producing a world-weary sigh loud enough for the reporters in the front row to hear.

Regaining her composure, she continued, “What he….” and then trailed off into silence again.

“No, f*** this,” she said, while getting up. “This press conference is over.”

Party sources, on the condition of anonymity, have said that the PTI information apparatus has contacted the information secretariat of the Muttahida Qaumi Movement (MQM) to be trained in the art of defending a leader’s indefensible statements.

“Yes, we have received their messages, and yes, they are right, we have a dexterity at this craft that can only come from experience,” said Farooq Sattar, while talking to The Dependent. “But the PTI has to realise that, given recent events with our own party, we need additional sources of revenue. They will have to pay up.”

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The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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