'Kids aren’t your retirement plan': Saima Qureshi drops truth bombs on parenting

Saima Qureshi just said what a lot of desi households don’t want to hear — and the conversation is getting real.

Appearing on The Light Within by NJ Studios, hosted by Misbah Khalid, the actor spoke about parenting, independence, and something that hits home for many families: when to let go.

And she didn’t sugarcoat it. “I would say that you should not be dependent on your parents,” she said — flipping the usual script. But she didn’t stop there.

She went straight into the uncomfortable reality: depending on your children later in life isn’t always guaranteed either.
“Yes, if your children are successful and take care of you, that’s a jackpot,” she added — emphasis on jackpot.

Translation: it’s not a plan. It’s luck. Saima also called out something rarely addressed openly — parents who struggle to step back. “When children get married, mothers should step back,” she said, pointing out that some continue to assert control, which can strain relationships instead of strengthening them.

The idea? Your kids grow up. Their lives expand. And holding on too tightly can actually push them away. The conversation didn’t just stop at parenting — it went into ageing, and honestly, it hit just as hard.

She highlighted how many elderly people in Pakistan slowly lose a sense of purpose, with life narrowing down to complaints, routines, and focusing entirely on children and in-laws.

“In Pakistan, there is this mindset that once we are old, we are finished,” she said — before completely rejecting it. Because according to her, that’s not how it has to be.

Drawing from her experiences abroad, she spoke about older individuals staying active, social, and independent — travelling, walking, dressing up, living.

Her advice? Simple, but not easy. Get a hobby. Make friends. Learn something new. Stay engaged. Because the alternative — doing nothing and expecting emotional fulfilment only from children — doesn’t really work.

She also touched on emotional discipline and faith, saying that spirituality isn’t just about rituals, but also about behaviour — patience, kindness, and giving without expecting anything in return.

“Give in a way that you forget your own sins,” she said, summing up her philosophy. It’s one of those conversations that feels uncomfortable… because it’s true. And in desi households, those are usually the ones that matter the most.