Harvey Weinstein grows his fingernails?

Thanks to developments far from the US, Harvey Weinstein, the founder of the #MeToo Movement, was celebrating in jail. I hate to think to him drinking paint thinner mixed with orangeade powder, but there it is.

Meanwhile, another court case has seen the Constitutional Court summon KP CM Sohail Afridi for having announced a Release-Imran Force. The PTI core committee has apparently shot down the idea, probably because it had got the wrong impression, that it was against the Constitution’s prohibition of the formation of any militias or armed forces.

I wonder if Afridi will tell the Constitutional Court the truth: that the Force is a place where young men will gather, scrunch up their sleeves and breathe heavily, maybe call the odd passerby ‘chor’ or ‘daku’ and then go home to dinner. The danger would be if the original programme of the PTI was followed, which would be for a lot of young men with automatic weapons were to go up to Adiala Jail, rattle the bars, and get Imran out, to lead a procession to PM House, where he would personally throw Shehbaz Sharif out. Because the 2024 elections were rigged, he would take over without bothering with elections at all.

The USA is sending people to the moon, and we have got the world’s most brilliant leader behind bars. Imran would have kept prices of fuel where they were before the USA and Israel attacked Iran, which is why he should be released. If he had been out, he’d have been on the astronaut team. Three people were chosen, a woman, a black and a Canadian (non-American). It seems like a deliberate snub to Trump, and only a Somali or a Mexican could have been worse. NASA did not tick all the LGBTQ+ boxes, possibly because there are more letters than places on the team.

But Trump probably didn’t notice, because he’s so busy with the war on Iran. Schools havew joined government offices in moving to a four-day week. The small fry are the most delighted, and are praying for the long life of Benjamin Netanyahu, who doesn’t want the war to end. The children want it to last another two months or so, until the summer holidays. Daily prayers are also offered for the failure of Deputy PM Ishaq Dar’s peace efforts.

I’m also a little puzzled by the weather. It keeps on raining. There’s been death and destruction in Balochistan and Sindh, not so much upcountry. But still, it hasn’t begun to heat up. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the summer heat either, but surely these rains are not a good sign for the wheat crop?

But let’s talk about a case, and the sport of the country’s most controversial jailbird, cricket. Fakhar Zaman has been banned for two matches in the current PSL, for ball-tampering. Nothing has been said, but the complaint was made after he tossed the ball to his skipper, Shaheen Shah Afridi, a strong candidate for getting on the same page.

Does anyone remember the 2018 ball-tampering scandal in 2018, during the Third Test of the four-Test series? The Australian captain, Steve Smith, was sacked, as was the vice-captain, David Warner. The bowler? Cameron Bancroft, was also sacked. The investigation showed that Warner was the mastermind, the one who invented the method, and convinced both his captain and bowler to go for it.

Warner was banned for life from any leadership role. But since the ban was placed by the Australian Cricket Board, it doesn’t apply internationally. Which has let the Karachi Kings make him the captain. Yet we have Babar Azam caught. I would suggest checking how much sandpaper the Kings are going through for their bats (that’s what he used in South Africa). And also checking for any extra-long fingernails, Both are useful in scraping the ball.