October 2, 2020

UNGA to pass resolutions based on hits received by speeches on UN’s YouTube channe

NEW YORK – The United Nations General Assembly (UNGA) unanimously passed the resolution to pass all resolutions based on the traffic that the speech of the leader presenting the motion receives on t

The Dependent

The Dependent

October 2, 2020

UNGA to pass resolutions based on hits received by speeches on UN’s YouTube channe

NEW YORK – The United Nations General Assembly (UNGA) unanimously passed the resolution to pass all resolutions based on the traffic that the speech of the leader presenting the motion receives on the UN’s YouTube channel.

The UNGA’s latest resolution was the first to pass itself based on the cumulative traffic that the UN’s coverage has received, which the general assembly discovered was the sum of the hits received by each individual segment on the live streaming.

Following the latest resolution voting in the general assembly on recommendations on peace and security; budgetary concerns; and the election, admission, suspension or expulsion of members, will be automated based on YouTube analytics.

Questions will be decided simply by comparing the cumulative hits received by the countries presenting the motion, compared to the total hits received by the countries that are against it.

While the assembly resolutions are not binding on the members, the UNGA has reaffirmed that it may make recommendations on any matters within the scope of geo-targeting, search engine optimisation, bounce rate, keywords and indexing.

“In an interconnected world, it is high time to recognize a simple truth: content is king. Today, UNGA sessions are just as important as Google Analytics sessions. If we fail to grasp that fact, everyone loses”, UN Secretary-General António Guterres said while announcing the latest resolution on the live-stream.

“In that we must be guided by SEO and tethered to unique pageviews,” he added.

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The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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