- Staying sane also matters
By: Akif Rashid
A few pretentious philosophy students might tell you that time is just a manmade social construct, but I didn’t really believe it until this lockdown went into effect. “I don’t know if it’s Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday. I just know if it’s today, yesterday, or tomorrow,” said a person trying to adapt to our new, uncertain way of life. On the other side of madness, I spoke with our gardener (with six degrees of separation, of course), and learned that his village doesn’t even know that this virus exists. Meanwhile, I look to the rebellious roads of Lahore, as full of life as ever. The crowds have merely learned how to live without Alfatah’s free air-conditioning; their spirits are uninvaded.
The story of people’s lives has been encased, the fourth wall carefully preserved, and the discontent seeps through. The people are not fighting against this virus, they have yet to even consider that war in its entirety. They are fighting against the rules of combat. If the office is closed, then the company becomes a start-up in a garage, with mummy bringing in tea and biscuits. If the schools are off, then get a free grade and hope you can get your act together in Fall. Maybe somewhere between allergy season and the monsoon rains, the heat will cure our land of at least one of its inflictions.
So, some people sit at home, looking at the facts and fearing the toll, but they accept their limitations. What could a teacher do when the students can’t access the Internet? Who does a lawyer defend when everyone has the same alibi? People watch the markets run short as doubt grows longer. They sit in the family circle, tell each other to be careful, and try not to be bitter about the claustrophobic air. They are helpless, it feels like the only way they can convince themselves to hope is by giving in. There is someone in charge, and that person has to know what they’re doing. The rest of the lot don’t want to see how much longer the road is.
If a full lockdown is enforced, the people will starve, rebel, and go mad (in whatever order of events seems most convenient to them). If it isn’t, and the economy is prioritized, then funeral homes will be collecting both blue bills and blue bodies. It appears that we are paralyzed with fear, making no committed choice until someone else proves what the right path is
On the other side of the coin, there is a bit of a mixed bag. The smart ones have rationalization, and the foolish ones aren’t concerned with rationality. The only thing common between a 20-year-old thinking his natural immunity will save him and a 50-year-old thinking this is a government hoax is the fact they both bought cigarettes from a coughing khoka uncle. Of course, no one wants to die, but they don’t want to live like this either. Maybe if enough people take precautions, they don’t have to, right?
In a way, you have to wonder how anyone would be truly afraid. The best and the brightest of LUMS walked over a river of sewage on their way to class every day. People are used to being told no, being told to obey rules they don’t understand, and most of all, being told that this is all for their own good. The people are so practiced at skirting the edge of decency and disobedience, that this is merely the latest challenge for them to do as they please. The elder sibling ready to get into trouble, while the younger one tries to behave. In the end, both will get the belt, and both will blame the other. The smell of decomp doesn’t seem to matter anymore. If there is a lesson here, people are too angry to learn it.
Of course, this is a situation where the right answer, the perfect move to make, changes quickly. If a full lockdown is enforced, the people will starve, rebel, and go mad (in whatever order of events seems most convenient to them). If it isn’t, and the economy is prioritized, then funeral homes will be collecting both blue bills and blue bodies. It appears that we are paralyzed with fear, making no committed choice until someone else proves what the right path is. How long will loud words and public bolstering keep us safe– or better yet, keep us sane? The Pathani chest-beating or the regal moustache-twirling don’t save you from infection; self-defeating words or purposeful ignorance do not bring peace of mind. The patron is now looking for the artist’s escapism. Is the pretty picture shiny enough to keep one’s eye off the clock?
Which brings me back to the opening quote; this person that has resigned themselves to helplessness, because it only feels like the eggshell walls are closing in if there is a world out there to push the plaster and mortar. The man with a masters in civil engineering is learning how to help his mother in the kitchen, the woman who fought for the right to an education tries to tutor her neighbour’s son on Skype. They want to save the mind, even if it kills the heart. And those that view the lockdown as a voluntary activity, they want to save the heart, even if it kills the body. People are helpless, and they hope they can make it out of this mess.
The writer is a student of literature, and the author of the short stories, Encounters.