- Thank God for science
One of the negatives of living in the age of science is that it is very easy not to appreciate our immense debt to scientists and the studies they keep publishing for the benefit of the society at large. What with our cellphones, microwaves, computers, smart watches and the like, we are seldom oblivious to our dependence on technology – and corporations love us for this trait. But it is very easy to lose sight of the importance of science in answering fundamental questions, without which life would become all but paralyzed. Thankfully, there’s a group of researchers around the world who have taken it upon themselves to issue periodic reminders of the utility of science in our lives. This article is dedicated to those heroic men and women, who are selflessly and tirelessly toiling for mankind.
Homo sapiens have been around for millennia but till very recently they were not sure if life was real or only a computer simulation. So, while we were all going through the motions of living our lives, we were not giving it the kind of serious consideration and thought something real (as opposed to make believe) would warrant. Finally, in 2017, a team of theoretical physicists at Oxford published the result of their meticulous research on the subject in the journal Science Advances. Their conclusion: Life is not a computer simulation after all. Get your acts together, guys. The damn thing is real!
The other day, I was reading a scientific article which had listed ways in which males and females were different. It had concluded that the sex differences in personality and behaviour were very real. In other words, males were males and females were females no matter what each sex thought of itself. Don’t be misled by the simplicity of the statement. At first glance it may appear to be the old law of identity, but it would be foolish to dismiss it as merely that. For the law of identity is an axiomatic law of thought. Our scientists – bless them – have carried out extensive research and have come up with their conclusions based on empirical evidence and a great deal of experimentation and what not. What would we do without science? At the same time, for some there’s also a cause for care and caution: So, the next time you get caught in the wrong restroom, the ‘I identify as a woman’ excuse won’t work if the officer is up to speed on his science.
The wars over buying of toilet rolls during every crisis may soon become things of a bygone era. According to other similar studies, a combination of water and paper (in the same sequence) yields better results than either the paper or water in isolation. Like quantum mechanics, the conclusions of science are often extremely counter-intuitive. Thank God for science. Where would we be without it?
Last year, Dr. Evan Goldstein shocked the world by claiming that he had found conclusive evidence to claim that it is cleaner and safer to wash up after your business in the toilet as compared to using tissue paper. Well, who would have thought! This could have far-reaching effects on the lifestyles of billions across the world. The wars over buying of toilet rolls during every crisis may soon become things of a bygone era. According to other similar studies, a combination of water and paper (in the same sequence) yields better results than either the paper or water in isolation. Like quantum mechanics, the conclusions of science are often extremely counter-intuitive. Thank God for science. Where would we be without it?
Another long-standing puzzle was also recently solved, thanks to Carnegie Mellon University psychologists. They studied many couples, and after extensive testing concluded that people with supportive spouses were more likely to experience personal growth and happiness. Being in the dark for so long, so many mortals were making mistakes in this regard. But now that you know, all you need to do is get yourself a supportive spouse, and you are fixed for life. Science has again come to the rescue when it was needed most.
There have been other, no less ground-breaking, studies that have solved many of the mysteries of life for Homo sapiens. All of them would take some chronicling, but here are three of them in no particular order: We owe it to the painstaking research of the Johns Hopkins school of Public Health to know that keeping guns out of the hands of troubled individuals prevents gun violence. We must doff our hats to academics who shocked the world by publishing in the Journal of Aging Studies that fashion magazines glorified youth. We bow our heads in reverence to the researchers who published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences that smoking a lot of pot made one’s mind fuzzy.
But paying tribute to our heroic scientists is not enough. For some years ago a study in Clinical Psychological Science has conclusively demonstrated that exercise is good for you. So, get off that couch of yours, and do some exercise. After this publication, you don’t have an excuse anymore.
