- The good, the bad and the ugly from 2019
The year 2019 had many things in common with past years. As usual, it was a year replete with mutually contradictory conspiracy theories. There was the usual doom and gloom on the part of the anchorpersons. There were the usual predictions about the demise of the government (all incorrect). The Coke Studio continued to sell old merchandize in new packaging. There was another novel (and a drama serial) by Umera Ahmed. In what follows, however, are some things that justify an honorable mention for 2019 in the annals of history.
In March, Najam Sethi did a Shahid Masood by announcing on national TV that Imran Khan’s marriage with the first lady was on the rocks and only a timey intervention by well-wishers had averted the ultimate disaster. Sethi went on to say to the host that being a newly married man the latter could well imagine the trouble if there was no love and peace between a couple. Eight months down the line, and much to the disappointment of those who had raised their hopes on this front, the first couple is still very much united in holy matrimony. Of course, Khan had responded immediately, in true ‘Till death do us part’ style, that the marriage was going to last till the last breath. While it was reassuring for the nation, it had also left quite a few countrymen wondering whose last breath the prime minister may have been alluding to.
Sixty-four opposition members had helped pass the resolution, by show of hands, to move the no-confidence vote; and needing a mere 54 votes to oust Sanjrani, the opposition sat pretty. Until the secret ballot that is, when 14 votes went missing, never to be found again. Truth is indeed stranger than fiction
We have had twitter, Facebook, and YouTube celebrities making their way to mainstream fame, but 2019 saw the first Pakistani TikTok celebrities crossing that threshold. It’s a sad indictment of the Islamic Republic that in the social influencing stakes, Hareem Shah and Sundal Khattak today have arguably a larger reach than all our other ‘influencers’ on all social-media forums combined. Talk about making up for a late start!
In 2019, Misbah-ul-Haq became the first man in history to be head-coach, batting coach, and chief selector of a national team, all at the same time. (For good measure, he is also the coach of Islamabad United in the PSL competition.) Misbah was part of the team that recommended axing of the former head-coach Mickey Arthur, only to apply for the vacant position himself. Equipped with all the qualities needed to become the next Intikhab Alam, Misbah is likely to continue ‘serving’ the PCB till 2060 or the Apocalypse, whichever comes earlier.
‘Mere paas tum ho’ was undoubtedly the cultural highlight (or lowlight) of the year (depending on one’s taste in such things). In most households one could see men and women cheering Danish on when he started losing patience with Mehwish after putting up with her for an unreasonably long time. The emotional peaks came in the form of those famous slaps, which were celebrated by millions across the country. It also transpired that no matter how completely Mehwish may have atoned for her sins, the collective conscience of the nation wasn’t prepared to forgive, let alone forget. Those who are old enough to have watched Pakistani movies in theatres would have been reminded of similar scenes on the front benches when the hero finally started getting the better of the villain.
This year also saw a refreshing throwback to the days when judges, in the interest of impartiality, used to shun newspapers and television. Those days are long gone of course, but it’s gratifying to know that some chips off the old block have survived to this day. Like Justice Waqar Ahmed Seth of the Peshawar High Court, who observed during a hearing that the only television he ever watched was wrestling. He was responding to a lawyer who was had praised him for his poise despite the nationwide criticism of the rather gory paragraph 66 the judge had recently penned. While fully appreciating the judge for avoiding the media, it did leave aesthetes like the present author secretly wishing that the disclosed entertainment of choice was something other than noora kushti.
One of the ways in which Khan was to be cut down to size during the year was the no-confidence vote against Sadiq Sanjrani, the Senate Chairman. This was supposed to be the first of the in-house setbacks for Khan. Sixty-four opposition members had helped pass the resolution, by show of hands, to move the no-confidence vote; and needing a mere 54 votes to oust Sanjrani, the opposition sat pretty. Until the secret ballot that is, when 14 votes went missing, never to be found again. Truth is indeed stranger than fiction.
For a few days in November, everybody was talking about Maulana Fazlur Rehman’s dharna. While the PPP and the PML(N) were content to pay lip service to the dharna, the desi liberals harbored high hopes for the Maulana to get rid of their nemesis. The message, before they eventually abandoned the sinking ship, was loud and clear: Anybody but Imran Khan! (The alternative could be the devil himself, and the liberals wouldn’t care.) To its credit, in response to Maulana’s bravado the government couldn’t have been calmer. To any and all plans announced by the Maulana – Plan A, B, C and the rest – the government seemed to have just the one plan: Plan L (Leave it all to Providence). For once, it worked like a charm.
The best piece of news for men came at the very end of the year when one Farrukh Iqbal made history by becoming the first male CEO and president of the First Women Bank. One hopes that in the coming years more men will stand up for their rightful share in the society.
