Categories: Arts & CultureThe Dependent

I said I’m fine, says Hamza Abbasi after Murad Saeed given ministry

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

Wiping away from his eyes what were clearly tears but what he claimed was ‘just some speck I got stuck in my eye,’ actor Hamza Ali Abbasi has said he is fine, and doing perfectly okay after PTI MNA Murad Saeed was given a ministry.

“I said I’m fine” he said when asked by The Dependent’s correspondent to comment on the development.

“Why would I have anything to say about this? I mean Murad is the politician and I’m the actor. When Khan sb needs a minister, he’ll ask Murad. When he needs someone to play him in a biopic, he’ll ask me” he went on to say, even though the reporter had not asked any further questions.

“He would ask me, wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t he???” he said, turning the tables on our reporter by starting to pose questions.

“I mean, I get that his still-unannounced portfolio needed filling, but it could have been given to someone else. What about Ali Muhammad Khan?”

“And I mean, Khan sb said it was just going to be the assembly ticket and nothing else. In fact, he told me that Murad would probably lose this time” he said, clearly frustrated.

“But now he’s in the assembly with Khan sb. Now he’ll be cosying up to him in cabinet meetings that little . . .” he went on to say in a spiel not reproducible on these hallowed pages.

“But whatever. I’m fine. Just doing my own thing, and I trust Khan sb. Even if I don’t trust that slimy little . . .” he went on to say in the same vein.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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