Medical miracles in Moldava

I have finally understood why Donald Trump and Imran Khan got on so famously together. Both are medical men of consummate skill. Trump has recently held a press conference to warn pregnant mothers against Tylenol, the anti-fever painkiller that uses acetaminophen, but which could be causing mothers to give birth to autistic children. Even those who wrote the paper on which this Trumpian medical diagnosis have said that more studies are needed and while the medical establishment is in cahoots with the Chinese, Trump has not got enough recognition for this medical breakthrough.

Now we can understand why Akbar was autistic. (Yes, he was. That’s why he never learnt to read, not because Bairam Khan was an inefficient Ataaliq (tutor)), but because his mother Hameeda Begum popped Tylenol while she was carrying him. Trump had led us to the knowledge that Tylenol had reached Humayun’s court.

Imran Khan, it might be remembered, had announced firmly that Mian Nawaz Sharif had nothing wrong with him, after inspecting a photo of the back of Mian Nawaz’s head. However, a medical board had said that Mian Nawaz was ill, and could be treated only abroad. Now just because members of the board had medical degrees, and Imran didn’t, Nawaz escaped justice.

Something tells me the next great medical discoveries are going to come from other populist leaders. Jair Bolsonaro of Brazil will probably come up with a cure for cancer, while Victor Orban of Hungary will finally cure the common cold. All that will be left for Narendra Modi will be to recognize illness at 100 yards, and complete the diagnosis in three seconds.

Russian President Vladimir Putin could also do something in the medical field, but he’s too busy complaining about the rigging of the parliamentary election there. The rigging there was really something, with two pro-Russian parties banned for taking money from Russia. The main pro-Russian party ran though, coming in second to the incumbent rulers, who want to join the EU.

There is a party which favours joining Romania, which won a few seats, but seems aside from the main debate, which is pro- and anti-Russian. Joining Romania is a sneaky way of joining the EU, for it has been a member since 2008. The pro-EU ruling party one, apparently exercising the prerogative of any ruling party. It seems the Russian money has been used in previous elections, most recently the Rumanian presidential election, though it didn’t work, because the pro-EUincumbent won re-election. The use of development projects by the ruling party sounds familiar.

Of course, development is no guarantee. Since elections have been held, the only PMs to have been re-elected have been Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto in 1977, and Mian Shahebaz Sharif in 2024. One hopes that it ends better for the Lahori lad than the man from Larkana.

Going back to the Moldavans, they should think twice about joining the EU or NATO. Look at where it got Ukraine. And frankly, Moldova is not a very large country. If it did merge with Romania, it would automatically become part of NATO. Would that mean Russia had to fight? Europe has not ended the Ukraine entanglement, and might not like to be rushed into another one. It’s a little like the build-up to World War I, when there was one Balkan or colonial crisis after the other, until the heir to the Austrian throne was assassinated in Sarajevo…

In another troubling sign of the times, President Donald Trump had an unprecedented meeting  with 800 generals and admirals from all over the world, where they were treated to a speech from Trump, as well as one from War Secretary Pete Hegseth, which told then the country was going to pot, and that the military would have to be prepared for fighting this.

It is perhaps no coincidence that Trump has ordered the National Guard already into Los Angeles, Washington DC, Portland, Memphis and Chicago, with New York, Baltimore San Francisco and Oakland potentially next. All of these have Democrat Mayors, all but two African Americans. Are we witnessing a creeping takeover?