Fathers, not wives

For far too long, married women have been burdened with the task of ‘fixing’ their men. This toxic mindset keeps the cycle of injustice alive. The responsibility of reforming men — instilling values, curbing destructive behaviours, and teaching accountability — erodes the foundation of balanced and mutual partnerships. In a society like ours, the worth of a woman is often linked to her ability to manage, heal and ‘correct’ a man’s failings.

Marriage should be a partnership built on mutual respect, shared responsibilities, and personal accountability, not a means of absolving men of the consequences of their actions.

A woman is not a vessel for absorbing and transforming someone else’s irresponsibility, nor should she be made to suffer the consequences of a man’s lack of upbringing.

As opposed to encouraging women to marry in the hope of ‘fixing’ flawed men, parents should focus on raising men to be responsible, respectful and emotionally mature individuals from the start.

We must stop normalising the idea that women should bear the brunt of undoing years of neglectful parenting or societal complacency.

To challenge these outdated and prevalent expectations, we need extensive dialogue on gender roles and relationship dynamics, backed by concrete policy changes that promote gender equality in all spheres. Families, too, must nurture an environment where both boys and girls are equally encouraged to grow into mature, responsible adults.

Women, we must remember, are not ‘rehabilitation centres’, nor should they be expected to mend poorly raised men.

TANIA SHAHJAHAN

KAMBER ALI KHAN