Evolved Amir now making offensive remarks after death instead of offensive remarks causing death

KARACHI – In what is being seen as the latest manifestation of his progressive evolution, Aamir Liaquat Hussain is now making offensive remarks after people’s death. Observers note that this trans

The Dependent

The Dependent

May 9, 2020

1 min read
Evolved Amir now making offensive remarks after death instead of offensive remarks causing death

KARACHI – In what is being seen as the latest manifestation of his progressive evolution, Aamir Liaquat Hussain is now making offensive remarks after people’s death. Observers note that this transformation, which has taken place over years, is in stark contrast to his past where he used to make offensive remarks causing people’s death.

Aamir Liaquat Hussain, who over the years has hosted many programs in which an entire sect was declared wajib-ul-qatl prompting murders of the members of the community the very next day, is nowadays saying sorry for making jokes about dead actors.

“How things have changed. A few years ago, I was hosting shows where murder of entire community was being discussed, and now I am hosting shows which makes stupid jokes about actors dying. The offensiveness has shrunk and the chronology of deaths surrounding my show has reversed,” Aamir Liaquat said while talking to The Dependent.

“This evolution is important, which is why I evolve and re-evolve often in a matter of days. Only recently I was condemning Khalil-ur-Qamar for his anti-women remarks, when Allah knows few have made sexist remarks more frequently than I have,” he added.

“Even now this evolution that I speak of – the chronology of death – is reversible, if it can be beneficial. In fact, benefits lie at the heart of the evolution to a point that if it’s beneficial enough, I could even evolve into a Darwinist.”

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The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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