There does seem to be more cold than usual, even at this time of the year. That has made the gas tariff hike even more cruel than usual, meaning that the weather has joined the ever-lengthening list of corrupt elements, and should not be surprised if it is asked to drop in at the nearest NAB office in connection with an enquiry.
But probably not. NAB officials are, like us ordinary mortals, bundled up in overcoats and sweaters, not to mention wearing kantopes or woollen caps with bobbles on top. So are the brave men of the Anti-Narcotics Force and the FIA. Even if there is a slight bettering of the weather, such as is predicted later this week, neither will be available for any raids or recoveries.
The government has not announced any school holidays, but the younger ones are hopeful. I don’t think the cold is good enough a reason on its own. If there is so much snowfall that movement becomes impossible, then there might be a closure, but I don’t think that will happen. The last time it snowed in Lahore was in 2011, which was the first time in 35 years. By that (admittedly inadequate) information, it won’t snow till 2046. And even then, I doubt if the schools will close. They weren’t closed in 2011.
This year, though, we had a much louder New Year celebration than usual. Or maybe we only noticed it now. After all, young men on motorbikes have been throwing lit crackers into car windows for years on New Year’s Eve.
Still, social media were full of greetings for the first time. I’m not wishing anyone a happy new year because I didn’t make any New Year Resolutions. I was freezing, in a quilt, and sipping a hot drink. And I’m not sure whether New Year Resolutions applied only to 2020, or the whole decade. Like a resolution to lose 10 pounds. And did you have to keep them all off for the whole decade. Or did 2021 mean you could be a glutton?
Anyhow, the government was busy with hikes for New Year. Gas, fuel, electricity all had their prices raised. In return, Imran Khan told us that 2020 would be the year of turnaround. I suspect he would like to remain in office until at least 2046, when he will be 93. He would hasten to point to his pal Mahathir Mohammed (the Malaysian PM) as an example of a nonagenarian who won election as PM.
Of course, Imran has an advantage. He would still be getting the youth vote then. Look, if you get the youth vote at 65, as one of the boys, not as a father figure, while a 30-year-old (Bilawal Bhutto-Zardari) is bypassed, you’ll still be getting the votes of their grandchildren, at 93, again, not as
a father figure, but one of them.
I wonder if the PM made any resolutions, Y’know, like lowering gas, electricity and fuel prices. Well, at least getting an amendment passed to the Army Act so that he could extend the tenure of the army chief. The Act sets a retirement age, 64. Does it apply to PMs? It doesn’t, but Nawaz Sharif has gone past it, and so has Imran. No wonder Bilawal wants it to be adopted.
Of course, all this might be rendered irrelevant by the assassination of Iran’s Maj Gen Qasem Soleimani. It might provoke war. And that war might drag Pakistan in. If that happens, perhaps we’ll have the satisfaction of knowing our service chiefs were properly appointed. One indication of why we might join in against Iran was given by the recent visit of the UAE Crown Prince here. Instead of ponying up the $800 million it is supposed to pay, Etisalat, which bought PTCL a couple of years back, is offering $275 million.
One surprise is that the Telecom Ministry is saying we should accept the offer. No one has said it, but the proverb of ‘bhaagtay chor ki langoti’ would seem to apply. But the real surprise is that NAB has not arrested the Minister, the Secretary, or anybody for making money. Because when a poor country like Pakistan gives up $525 million, some
citizens would have got very, very rich.
The Crown Prince announced the giving of $200 million to our SMEs. Well, that’s what he announced, but the government is just treating it like so much more foreign exchange, to be blown on imports. The government’s reduction of imports has been jumped at by the Federal Board of Revenue to explain its failure to meet collection targets.
If that money had come before the killing of Iranian Maj Gen Qasem Soleimani in a drone strike, it would have been seen as part-payment for supporting the Arabs, but it should be seen as a follow-up to the Saudi offer of an OIC Summit on Kashmir, which was meant as a reward for not going to the Kuala Lumpur Summit.
