(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – After thorough checkup and multiple expert opinions, renowned anchor Aftab Iqbal has been advised by doctors to read books written in more recent time to cure his ailment, sources privy to the development have informed The Dependent.
The prescription was given by the doctors after complaints from those close to Iqbal, citing a ‘hysterical delusion’ that he has been suffering from for decades.
“[Aftab Iqbal] believes that he is a journalist. Not only that, he believes he is one of the topmost journalists in the world,” a close aide revealed. “We had hoped that with time this hysterical delusion would go away, but it has only become stronger every passing year. So we had little option but to go to the doctors.”
The doctors, meanwhile, have specifically prescribed books written after the year 1961 for Iqbal to cure his delusion.
“We realised that the patient’s brain only had input from sources that originate over half a century ago,” a doctor who gave the prescription to Iqbal told The Dependent. “So we believe that getting input from more current sources would help with the cure, given that the patient mistakes himself for a journalist.”
At press time, doctors were writing prescription for Iqbal’s delusion that he is a satirist.
