CITY NOTES
Shan Masood seems destined to lead Pakistan to ever greater disasters. First was the whitewash at home last season by Bangladesh. Then came the absolutely horrific (and historic) defeat by England, which was the only time a team made over 500 runs (556 to be precise) and then lost by an innings. And now the loss to the West Indies, after preparing spinning wickets, and packing the team with three spinners.
It let the West Indies claim their first win in Pakistan since 1990. I could go back to 1980, when the then all-conquering West Indies toured Pakistan. Then too Pakistan made spinning wickets, and packed the side with three spinners. West Indies managed to win the series 1-0 (with three draws), with the first Test won by its pace quartet. This time, the West Indies drew the series, but with spinners, bringing back memories of the 1950s, when Sonny Ramadhin and Alf Valentine were names to conjure with.
Anyway, Pakistan losing was not the only bad thing happening at Multan. There was also a gas tanker explosion, which killed 10 people. This was by way of reply, perhaps, to the tanker blast in Nigeria, but that occurred because people tried to collect the spilled petrol. In Multan, though, there was just a blast. It was a crowded residential area, and so there was great big fire, and people were burnt to death.
Well away from Multan, in Galle as a matter of fact, Steve Smith scored a century after scoring the one run he needed to become the 12th man to reach 10,000 runs in Tests. He also won the match, making it three wins since he returned to the team after being banned in 2018 for involvement in ball tampering.
He was part of Australian cricket then, which believed in beer, barracking and winning at any cost. It believes it still, only it hides it better. He was replaced as captain by In Healy, the keeper, and then by Pat Cummins, the pacer and the current skipper, to whom he is vice-captain, who’s on leave because his wife is giving birth.
In the old days, there was none of that namby-pamby display of uxoriousness. When the future Test cricketer Shoaib Muhammad was born in 1961, did his father, the great Hanif Muhammad, return from India for the birth? He was not playing in the side match that was taking place then, between the Pakistanis and the Board President’s XI at Bangalore, but Hanif wasn’t playing.
In the old days, the nearest interest any cricketer took in childbirth was when a Yorkshire captain, either Brian Sellers or Norman Yardley, drove his wife when her labour started, from somewhere in England, to Yorkshire, so the baby would be born in Yorkshire, and thus qualify by birth for the them.
Yorkshire was once very proud of the fact that only those born in the county could play for it, a rule first relaxed only in 1992, when Sachin Tendulkar joined the club. The rule had been there for 129 years, though it was not applied to Lord Hawke, the legendary, virtually mythical, Yorkshire captain, who led the team between 1883 and 1910, in which time they won eight county championships, but who was born in Lincolnshire. And guess who is not only their overseas player, but captain? Shan Masood. Yorkshire hasn’t won the championship under him.
Perhaps the only reason he got picked is because of the racism scandal, which surfaced when some of those Asians, impeccably born in Bradford, complained.
Well, at least Shan can’t be blamed for the Kumbh Mela stampede, where 30 people were killed. But you never know. UP CM Yogi Adityanath, whose chances of succeeding Narendra Modi as BJP leader have taken a nosedive, would love to have a Muslim to blame.
Trump must be conflicted about this, because he blames migrants, not Muslims. Perhaps that’s why he’s getting the facilities upgraded at Guantanamo Bay, which is where they still keep Muslim prisoners, though they’re now dying off. You can’t waste a good facility, so now you will put Mexicans there before flying them back home.
