I don’t CARE if it didn’t mean anything and you were thinking about me the entire time, says sobbing PM over secure line | Pakistan Today

I don’t CARE if it didn’t mean anything and you were thinking about me the entire time, says sobbing PM over secure line

An emotional Prime Minister was heard, sobbing over a secure line in the PM Secretariat in Islamabad early Friday morning, expressing how hurt he was to an unidentified person on the other end of the line.

“No, no, that doesn’t matter, it doesn’t, it just doesn’t,” the inconsolable PM was reported to be saying by the janitorial staff. “It can’t not mean anything. And if it actually didn’t mean anything, then that’s even worse.”

“Oh, you were thinking about me the entire time? Oh, so that’s supposed to make me feel better? No, it makes me feel weird. It makes me feel……dirty,” he said, right before slamming the phone down, and running into the bathroom, crying.

STOP PRESS: five hours later, at around 1:30 AM, the Prime Minister sent a message on an encrypted messaging app to the same contact. “Hey…”

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.



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