AirLynch – New mob-hailing app to connect heretics with ghazis | Pakistan Today

AirLynch – New mob-hailing app to connect heretics with ghazis

PRESS RELEASE – Pakistan is the fifth most populous country of the world and as per the last unofficial census conducted by Pakistan Bureau of Ghazis, it has millions of heretics. Especially during the last few years there has been a sharp influx of heretics owing to the internet.

With this fast increasing trend of heresy, there is an urgent need to facilitate day-to-day lynching to keep the heads rolling and to cater to wider problems, which include infrastructure and transportation of jihadists.

Every problem presents an opportunity, so recently a group of young graduates from Darul Uloom Haqqania launched a smart mob service called AirLynch. The founders say that the advent of smartphones with high speed internet had long necessitated the introduction of mob hailing apps in Pakistan, to connect ghazis with heretics.

AirLynch is an app based technology startup that offers a smart mob service tailor-made for regular mobsters. Without paying any fare, a seat is reserved in an outraged mob, with hundreds of such mobs routes spread all over Pakistan.

AirLynch is fast becoming the first option of aspiring ghazis and professional jihadists. It works exactly like the other hailing apps and the users after signing up can reserve their seats by selecting the desired routes and their pick up/drop off heretics. Available for both Android and iOS, the users are able to track heresy in real-time.

The young startup has already raised venture financing from Saudi Arabia, Iran, Qatar, and throughout the Muslim world.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.