Lockdown easing: gyms opened but only for chest day | Pakistan Today

Lockdown easing: gyms opened but only for chest day

In a gradual easing of the current smart lockdown, local gyms have been allowed to gradually start allowing members back in. In the initial phase, they will only allow members to observe their chest day.

“In the very first stage, which will also serve as the pilot, testing phase for the entire opening up, we will allow the gym patrons to ‘juice their pecs’, as it were,” said govt spokesperson Shehbaz Gill. “They can perform their bench-presses and even work on the incline bench-press machines, but they should stay away from the other machines and areas.”

“They are not allowed even to do their warm up before they hit the machines,” he said. “They should come, pre-warmed-up, from their homes.”

In a response to a question, Gill said that gym creeps who stare at you while you do your workout will be allowed. “These guys are not performing exercises of other muscle groups and aren’t even warming up, so technically, not breaking any of the SOPs.”

“No, the government doesn’t care if they’re also touching themselves in other areas. As long as they are not working out.”

The decision to open the gyms for chest days has the medical community non-plussed.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” said Dr Saima Hassan, of the Punjab Young Doctors Association. “How is this an easing, so to speak? The virus will spread.”

“But, then again,” she reasoned. “It makes as much sense as opening the markets but only for a limited number of hours a day. So that logic stays consistent.”

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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