Dependent Op-Ed: ‘How time travel is possible through the Bhutto–Zardari wormhole’ | Pakistan Today

Dependent Op-Ed: ‘How time travel is possible through the Bhutto–Zardari wormhole’

By Baby Bhutto

First of all, let me say that I am one of the millions who are super excited about The Dependent’s coverage of Dark this week. I mean many of us waited long for the third and final season of Dark, but I know I speak for everyone in the world, when I say that we’ve actually waited longer for The Dependent’s coverage of Dark than Dark itself.

Thanks to the Dark universe, or Darkistan, we finally find out some of the biggest secrets of Pakistani history in politics, I’m told. While I’m sure many other aspects will be thoroughly dissected by The Dependent’s dedicated journalists, I think it is my responsibility to address the findings related to the Pakistan People’s Party.

It is revealed in Darkistan that President Zardari from the 2000s travels back 33 years through a wormhole and becomes the Zulfikar Ali Bhutto of the 70s. It is also showcased that the time travel actually initiated in 2000, hence going back 33 years to 1967, resulted in the creation of the PPP.

This in turn shows that President Zardari formed the PPP, and is its founder. It also means that Asif Ali Zardari and Zulfikar Ali Bhutto is the same person – who, in turn, is still alive because President Zardari exists.

Here, I would like to say that I not only completely agree with The Dependent’s findings, this also reaffirms the PPP’s narrative since 2007.

I would now like to go one step further and actually highlight the dynamics of this time travel, dual identities and parallel realities. For that you need to understand the concept of the Bhutto-Zardari wormhole.

The Bhutto–Zardari bridge, or Bhutto–Zardari wormhole, is a structure linking disparate points in Pakistani political spacetime, and is based on a special solution of the Zardari field equations.

The wormhole can be visualised as a tunnel with two ends at separate points in the Pakistani political spacetime – ie, different locations, or different points in time, or both.

Such wormholes are consistent with the general theory of Pakistani politics. They also follow the theory of relativity, envisioned through the dynastic dynamism. Furthermore, where scientists have long said that the existence of these wormholes is yet to be proved, the transformation of Zardari into Bhutto is its irrefutable evidence.

Many political scientists postulate wormholes as projection of a fourth political dimension, outside the military, politicians and judiciary, analogous to how a two-dimensional 2D (civil-military) being could experience only part of a 3P (PPP) object.

Historically, scientists have said that wormholes could connect extremely long or short distances, universes or points in time. This used to be a study strictly for pure science. However, the PPP, with its exemplary progressive leadership and foresightedness has brought the phenomenon in political science.

And dear readers, I don’t want to give you any spoilers for those who aren’t ware of Dark, or the future of Pakistani politics, but I can tell that it proves decisively that Zardari and Bhutto are one and the same, and will never be separated in these endlessly repeated cycles of power.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.



2 Comments

  1. Pingback: Dependent Op-Ed: ‘How time travel is possible through the Bhutto–Zardari wormhole’ PĶ ÑËŴŽ✅

  2. Shahid said:

    So what you are trying to say that Benazir married his own father, who also later killed her? That’s a bit immoral, right?

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