(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
A new regulation by the Pakistan Electronic Media Regulatory Authority (Pemra) requires for the television channels to bring only qualified astrologers to discuss the Corona virus.
“Too much inaccurate information is making its way to the viewing public, leading to a lot of misinformation,” read the Pemra notification. “To this end, we now require for channels to only allow astrologers certified by the Pakistan Astrological Council and, for older astrologers, either the National Zodiac Congress and Anjuman-e-uloom-e-ujoom, prior to 1976, before they were merged into the PAC.”
“Only accurate astrological information should be allowed to be communicated to the public in these uncertain times,” read the circular.
The information has been met by indifferent response by the medical community. “Look, if there is such a thing as ‘certified homoeopathic doctor,’ then you might as well have ‘certified astrologers,” said Dr Fehmida Hassan, chairperson of the Pakistan Medical Association.