“Far more cases than we previously thought…”: Exponential spread of COVID-19 experts reported - Pakistan Today

“Far more cases than we previously thought…”: Exponential spread of COVID-19 experts reported

By Zeeshan Bhutta

Latest statistics have revealed an exponential increase in the spread of COVID-19 experts, in the latest series of bad news on this front.

“Yes, they are increasing rapidly and passing on their condition to the people they come in contact with,” said Dr Sughra Hassan, of the National Institute of Health. “Not a day goes with when we don’t fumigate and forcibly shut down a WhatsApp group with uncles trying to explain how hot water, figs and figs with hot water will cure the problem completely.”

“Matters are further complicated by the fact that some of this advice is perfectly astute in general, like increasing intake of Vitamin C and D, getting plenty of exercise and hydrating enough,” she added. “But all of these perfectly good pieces of advice do not, in any way, help in fighting the Coronavirus.”

“I think for some of them, it is too late,” she said. “But with enough care, we can cure them with just a little bit of attention and only three doses of ‘oye, tu doctor hai? Bol, na? Tu doctor hai?’”

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.



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