Man with economic inequality in DNA strands diagnoses genetically-ingrained fiscal misappropriation - Pakistan Today

Man with economic inequality in DNA strands diagnoses genetically-ingrained fiscal misappropriation

ISLAMABAD – A bizarre case of a quack surfaced on Wednesday from D-Chowk at the Constitution Avenue in Islamabad’s Red Zone, where a man claiming to offer cure for ‘genetically-ingrained fiscal misappropriation’ turned out to have been a direct recipient of financial mismanagement in his own genes.

The quack in question was caught red handed while he was pretending to be a doctor of genetics and diagnosing others with ‘genetically-ingrained fiscal misappropriation’.

It later turned out, as revealed the medical tests carried out on the subject available exclusively with The Dependent, the man pretending to be the doctor actually was a prime victim of the disease he was ostensibly curing.

The medical report of the subject revealed that each strand of the man’s DNA, or Deoxyribonucleic acid, was made up of ‘economic inequality’ and ‘financial marginalisation’, revealing that these had been passed on by his immediate ancestor.

Further analysis of the DNA revealed that the four bases that form a DNA nucleotide were all military bases. These bases that determine the DNA’s instructions are further characterised through four alphabets, A, T, G, C, which in the subject’s case translated into Army, Tanks, Garrison and Cantonment.

Medical analysts have noted that what makes the DNA especially remarkable is that the test was conducted purely on fiscal genetics, which still revealed a heavily militarised result.

“Further economic analysis of the subject’s DNA double helix revealed inheritance of wealth concentration and wing discrimination,” Dr Mehboob Haq, who analysed the subject’s DNA, told The Dependent.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.



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