India given befitting, heavily autotuned reply on Kashmir Day | Pakistan Today

India given befitting, heavily autotuned reply on Kashmir Day

ISLAMABAD – Pakistan gave a customarily strong and catchy response to India as shockwaves were sent across the Line of Control on Wednesday.

While Islamabad giving scintillatingly melodious, but equally menacing, messages to India is the norm, the fact that it was the occasion of Kashmir Day further enhanced the use of military threat and Virtual Studio Technology (VST).

As a result, the latest befitting response given to India was equally notable for both the robustness of military techniques being deployed and the level of tuning incorporated through integration of synthesizers and effects in digital audio workstations.

“The reply was befitting, and also heavily tuned, because the reply had to be perfect,” noted Sumaira Kabir, noted expert on fifth generation warfare, and author of War with Raag Elements.

“In modern warfare, this is done using VST, which helps the vocals – even more so in a vocal heavy track like this one – remained in synch throughout with the modern tuning standard of 440 Hz,” maintained Kabir.

Despite rendering India speechless through the perfection of vocal notes, and flawlessness of the audio plugin software generated rhythms, critics are wary of the impact fifth generation warfare is having on the quality of music.

“You’re lacking the human element. Music production has gone into the wrong hands,” lamented Shamoon Turab, the author of The Art of War Music.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.