Nouveau riche local Batman has no reason to hide identity | Pakistan Today

Nouveau riche local Batman has no reason to hide identity

KARACHI – Nouveau riche local Batman, who could be taking on his own poverty in a posh location of the city as you read this, has over the past week remained unable to think of a reason to hide his actual identity, The Dependent has reliably learnt.

Sources close to the local Batman came to The Dependent this week asking the publication to reveal the details as to who the newly emerged superhero in town was.

Sources confirmed that the local Batman, whose real life name is Danish, is a stock market wiz who has funded his own superpowers.

Danish, who last week purchased 7.8 million worth shares in the stock market, resulting in a massive upsurge in the Karachi Stock Market in turn prompting credit rated agency Moody’s to credit to raise the entire country’s economic outlook, is described by his close ones as a ‘self-made Batman’.

“More importantly he’s a Batman who wants to operate within the law. Also, his wife has already left him, so he doesn’t really care if others end up in danger owing to people finding out about his identity,” a member of the local Batman’s entourage said while requesting that his own identity remain anonymous.

“If anything, he’s actually attention hungry. His attention seeking stunts these days are dominating the real estate and stock brokering sections of town,” the source added.

When asked about the local Batman’s age from his aides, they requested that his date of birth be kept anonymous.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.