(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Former prime minister Nawaz Sharif’s predicaments increased yet again as doctors have diagnosed that the former premiere has an enlarged genuine votebank.
“The physicians have taken some samples from various parts of the Punjab, specially central and northern Punjab, and have found an alarming enlargement,” sources privy to the special medical board have said.
Nawaz was rushed from the Services Hospital – where he was admitted for having an acutely low blood platelet count – to the National Accountability Bureau after his survey poll results were out.
“His enlarged votebank is alarming indeed as this is going to cause even more complications for him,” said Dr Mahmood Ayaz. “This is worse than the low platelet count. This means he will be staying here for a very long time.”
“In fact, his entire set of troubles stems from the fact that he appears to be genuinely popular. But the revelation of an increase in the same is set to completely destroy him,” said Dr Ayaz. “The troubling thing is that this has been known to be a hereditary problem,” he said.
“This is why we are currently also conducting extensive tests on Maryam Nawaz Sharif as well.”