(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – Keeping up its self-avowed label of progressiveness, the Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) became the first political party, not just in the country, but the world, to successfully launch a Schrodinger’s dharna this week.
The launch, which is being touted around the world as a breakthrough in political thought experiment, came when the party leadership announced that it will simultaneously be joining the Jamiat Ulema-e-Islam Fazl (JUI-F) led Azadi March in the capital and not joining it.
“We are joining the march and also not joining it,” said the PML-N Spokesperson Marriyum Aurangzeb while addressing a press conference on Thursday.
“It’s the Noon League’s interpretation of quantum politics. The scenario represents a protest march that may be simultaneously joined and not joined by the PML-N. In political science, so we have decided, this state will be known as dharna superposition,” she added.
Describing the Azadi March led by JUI-F Chief Fazlur Rehman, Aurangzeb said that all reports of divides within the party are baseless, and that the PML-N is united in its decision of launching Schrodinger’s dharna in Islamabad.
“In the grander political dimension, the JUI-F’s march is a random subatomic event that may or may not have the PML-N’s participation. But Schrodinger’s dharna is an experiment that will live on forever, and be used by generations of politicians and political scientists to come,” she maintained.