Pakistan suffering from overdose of Akmal blood: PCB report  | Pakistan Today

Pakistan suffering from overdose of Akmal blood: PCB report 

A damning internal report of the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) has said that the team’s recent losses to a second string Sri Lanka side in a home series may be the result of an overdose of Akmal blood in the team’s constitution. 

According to details, the number one ranked T20 Pakistan side was collapsing in front of the hotchpotch Sri Lanka team was because of the dangerous element existing in the Pakistan team in a dangerous amount. 

“In the past, we have seen that Akmal blood can be genuinely talented and enhance performance. But it has always been volatile, and previous experiments with this mixture have not gone down well” read part of the report exclusively available with The Dependent. 

“We had thought that we had reached the perfect balance with Babar Azam, who although an Akmal first cousin, does not have the baggage of the name and proved to only have the good bits of Akmalness in him” it went on to say. 

“However, the reintroduction of the strongest Akmal element, Umar, has meant that the team is once again in disarray. In fact, we believe it may be possible that his Akmalness has actually been heightened during his absence from the team.”

“We do not wish to cause unnecessary alarm, but the evidence indicates that it is possible the presence of Umar is actually invigorating the Akmalness that has always existed in Babar Azam. It is an almost Jekyll-Hyde sort of situation” it warned. 

“We cannot tell if there is any permanent damage to Babar, but we advise he be quarantined forthwith. We are already taking a risk with the Shehzad factor, but this issue just cannot be allowed to fester” the report concluded. 

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.



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