(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
MUZAFFARABAD – Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) Chairman Bilawal Bhutto-Zardari on Wednesday criticised Prime Minister Imran Khan’s speech at the United Nations General Assembly saying that it lacked any practical support for the people of Kashmir.
Urging the government of Pakistan to lay more emphasis on the right to self-determination of Kashmiri people to be exercised through a plebiscite, Bilawal said that more practical gestures could’ve been made by the premier instead of populist rhetoric.
“The English was fine even if not with an accent that other bigger leaders have managed to showcase at the UNGA, but the speech clearly lacked practicalties,” Bilawal said speaking at a press conference at the residence of former Azad Jammu and Kashmir prime minister Chaudhry Abdul Majeed in the lakeside city of Mirpur.
“Perhaps the best way to do it would have been to just walk out and tear random pieces of paper at the floor of the UNGA,” the PPP chairman added.
Bilawal maintained that while the premier takes pride in speaking extempore, carrying papers with him, even if they don’t have the speech written on it, could be beneficial.
“It would give others the illusion that you’ve thought things through. Also, no one’s going to check the torn pieces of paper to check what actually was written on it,” Bilawal maintained.