Tahir-ul-Qadri announces retirement from Test marches | Pakistan Today

Tahir-ul-Qadri announces retirement from Test marches

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

TORONTO – Pakistan Awami Tehreek (PAT) Chairman Dr Tahirul Qadri on Saturday announced his retirement from Test marches after a decades-long successful career.

“I am retiring from politics and retracting my name from being considered by the selection committee,” Qadri said in a heartfelt video message sent to the selection committee.

“It was owing to our efforts that the accountability process began and cricket finally made it to the Prime Minister’s Office,” he added.

The now former PAT chief further added that it was an honour to participate in Test marches, and believes that he repaid the trust of the selectors every single time he was asked to perform under pressure.

“From cold winter nights to large human dumpsters – we braved it all. We put all our efforts into it, but of course only some of us continue to be eligible for selection given the skillset required for the team in the future,” Qadri said in the video.

Qadri, who excelled in the fields of both long marches and sit-ins, maintained that while he is retiring from Test marches, he would still be available for one-dayers.

“I really enjoyed the Test marches that tested the waters before the agenda is implemented. But they require a lot of stamina and take a toll on your body,” he said.

“But I’m still available for the shorter formats of the game,” Qadri maintained

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The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.