(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – Prime Minister Imran Khan said that the Ghotki incident was the latest in a list of attacks on Hindu temples in the region all of which were a part of a 1,000-year-old conspiracy to sabotage his upcoming United Nations General Assembly address.
“I condemn what has happened in Ghotki in 2019 AD. But I will not condemn what Mahmud Ghanzvi did circa 1001 AD – for obvious reasons,” the premier said in an exclusive interview with The Dependent.
“But more important than the condemnation, or the lack thereof, is for you and the world to know that all of this has been going on for over a millennia. It’s a 1,000-year-old conspiracy against me and my address at the UNGA, where I was going to speak about Kashmir and defeat India – some might even say conquer India,” Khan added.
The premier believes that attacking temples is an attempt to prove that Pakistan is no different than India and ill-treats minorities in the country.
“Such attempts to show Pakistan and India as the same have been going on even before Pakistan and India were created. That’s why invaders like Mohammed bin Qasim and Mahmud Ghaznavi were made heroes of Pakistan – to make Pakistan look bad,” the PM added.
The country has now been captured by a fascist, extremist and undemocratic person, PM Khan said, adding that a normal person cannot behave in such a way.
“I’m talking about India,” he clarified.
PM Khan said when he will talk about the Kashmir issue in the UN General Assembly the world will see that no one has ever talked about any issue like the way he will talk.
“It will be nothing like anyone has ever seen. It will even be better than the 1992 World Cup final speech,” he vowed.