Punjab Police bans dying in police stations | Pakistan Today

Punjab Police bans dying in police stations

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

LAHORE – Following the increase in video clips displaying people dying in police stations that come under the jurisdiction of Punjab Police, Inspector General of Police Arif Nawaz has forbidden people from dying inside the police stations.

The notice entitled ‘Use of Death During Duty Hours’ instructs officers below the rank of SHO to ensure that no one in the police station is seen using death, especially inside the torture cells, while applying the same rule to themselves and their subordinates as well.

“The competent authority has observed that citizens are dying while police officers are on duty. Clear directions in this regard have already been conveyed to prevent the use of death during duty hours,” the notice read.

Citizens have also been asked to deposit two-thirds of their body blood outside the police station, where special liquid containers have been placed for the purpose.

“Less blood in your body would ensure that all future videos of the accused being tortured aren’t too bloody. This makes those videos PG-rated, and hence could have a wider audience,” noted an inspector, while talking to The Dependent, wishing anonymity.

Meanwhile, Rawalpindi CPO Faisal Rana held a meeting with police officers in this regard and later forwarded written instructions to relevant officers against detained citizens unnecessarily dying during interrogation.

“Coma is the extent to which any self-misuse of human body shall be allowed – but no more,” the instructions read.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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