(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – Finally succumbing to the growing pressure that he was putting on himself, Federal Minister for Science & Technology Fawad Chaudhry, finally sent down the tweet that he really wanted to send, during the early hours of Sunday.
Amidst the rising demand that he felt within himself to just cut out economic, geopolitical, religious, rights, science and space crap and just tweet what he really wanted to say Chaudhry, the man in charge of promoting rationality and inquisitiveness in the nation, finally delivered the message that he truly wanted to give.
“Lolz Endia who’s ur daddy,” the federal minister of science for Islamic Republic of Pakistan tweeted without any superfluous commentary on the targeted country’s politics, or critique of the state’s leadership.
“I just wanted to give a message to India without even remotely trying to disguise it as anything other than immature, even repulsive, trash talk,” said Chaudhry subconscious talking exclusively to The Dependent.
The subconscious further revealed that the trash talk doesn’t really represent the man’s inner opinion, but would deliver the needed result among the hyper-nationalist crowd at home.
At press time Fawad Chaudhry was typing his next tweet, “beta beta hota hai aur BAAP BAAP hota hai, #HappyBelatedFathersDayEndia.”