‘I’m a proud member of Lashkar-e-Taiba,’ says non-state actor Hamza Ali Abbasi | Pakistan Today

‘I’m a proud member of Lashkar-e-Taiba,’ says non-state actor Hamza Ali Abbasi

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD – Renowned non-state actor Hamza Ali Abbasi has retorted strongly to Indian anchorperson, Arnab Goswami, revealing that he is a full-time member of jihadist group Lashkar-e-Taiba (LeT).

Goswami had accused Abbasi of being an undercover actor, with the latter then taking to Twitter to confirm that he’s actually a full-time non-state actor.

“So that over actor and warmongerer for ratings, guy Arnab/his channel declared me an undercover actor! Let me clarify, I am not an “undercover” actor, I am very openly/proudly a non-state actor!” Abbasi tweeted.

“I always thought it was obvious, but given the idiots that Modi’s fascist regime are producing and the delusional propaganda their fascist media outlets are spreading, I now have to spell it out to them,” he continued.

Later talking exclusively to The Dependent Abbasi further revealed that he’s actually surprised that anyone could be delusional about his full-time occupation.

“Sure it might be confusing, given that I’m so duplicitous like the agency I work for. But I thought it was obvious that amidst the façade of films, dramas, TV shows and social media activist, I was always Hafiz Saeed’s man,” Abbasi told The Dependent.

“If the interview I did with him, the tweets I have sent out in his favour didn’t reveal it, I hope my recent messages have conveyed my allegiance and indeed my love for Hafiz Saeed and the Lashkar,” he added.

“I mean I am openly sending love messages to a guy who has been declared a terrorist around the world and in Pakistan – whose agent do you think that makes me?”

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.